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Job security and financial stability is one of the key factors that prospective brides, their grooms, and their families look for in arranged marriages, so why is this wrong?
As the market reels under the massive layoffs from technology giants such as Dell, Byju’s, Paypal, Fedex and Microsoft, the lives of thousands of people has turned upside down.
Not only has it had a great impact on the future prospects the laid off employees, but also on their personal lives.
A recent incident went viral on the internet when a woman put up an anonymous post on Blind, seeking advice from the online community about her recently laid off to-be-husband.
In her post she states that it is an arranged marriage set for February, but since the to-be-groom got laid off from Microsoft, she was having second thoughts about whether to continue with the wedding.
While there were some genuinely insightful suggestions in the thread, what’s interesting is that even here, a sizeable percentage of ‘considerate’ people came forth and proclaimed the woman as a hypocrite and gold digger.
Arranged marriage has its place in our society and I would like to believe that in many cases, it does help men and women find their partners. Job security and financial stability is one of the key factors that prospective brides, their grooms, and their families look for in arranged marriages.
What happens when without any prior notice that significant pillar is gone?
If we go by the trolls reaction to the woman’s query, apparently, it is a crime to have second thoughts about marrying a stranger who is suddenly unemployed.
Agreed, the circumstances are tragic for the man. Admittedly, the woman seems concerned about the financial implications of the man losing his job (she has cited his current salary in the post). To add an unpleasant icing to this bitter cake, calling off the wedding at this juncture will have financial and social implications for both families.
https://twitter.com/AbbakkaHypatia/status/1620752557256892416
But does having second thoughts about your marriage warrant comments such as these?
“Don’t marry him, you don’t deserve him.”
“Where is Feminism now?”
“It shows her character.”
“if you are in true love at the most post pone marriage.if you are materialistic you know the decision and you are not fit to be married. i am worried for your partner if that person loses the job after marriage. so in short you are not marriage material.”
“Definitely call off the marriage, … and save the guy the lifelong misery of living with a golddigger!”
Yes, marital life comes with its own set of ups and downs. Yes, you do not just leave your partner mid-lurch if they are suddenly unemployed, or fall ill, or have an accident.
But can we compare these two scenarios- premarital and postmarital– with the same lens?
In this case, the marriage hasn’t even happened! We don’t know if they are courting, or if there’s any prior romantic aspect to their relationship. We don’t know if the woman is a working woman herself or not. We don’t know why or how these families came upon and finalised this ‘arranged marriage’.
Long story short, we don’t know the different aspects of their arrangement. We don’t know anything. Whatever their reasons, calling into question a woman’s character and branding her a gold digger or hypocrite on half baked assumptions is nothing but projection.
This incident reveals almost nothing about the woman herself, and everything about these toxic advisors.
Nobody knows what the woman will decide or whether they will get married or not, but what I know for sure is that everyone, whether man or woman, has the right to second guess and have doubts about such an important decision.
Frankly, it would be surprising and a little unbelievable if we were not second guessing ourselves and our decisions all the time.
Image source: Nikhil Patil from Getty Images Free for Canva Pro
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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