Starting A New Business? 7 Key Points To Keep In Mind.
I remember this guidance given to me ‘You just need to tell them what is good and what is bad and teach them good values, leave the rest to them, they will figure it out.
One of the definitions that I came across for teenagers caught my eye – Someone who is ready for the zombie apocalypse but not ready for the math test tomorrow. That is as close to the truth that one can get.
There is a common belief that you need to become their friend as they grow older. I would not recommend that. While friendship is important for them during these formative years, they are also going through choosing who they can be friends with and who they can depend upon. That is a stressful process, so at home, they need a friendly parent and not another friend.
Teenagers and the fresh adults don’t need you as a friend. They need a parent.
I see many parents and the children struggling to build a healthy relationship during the formative years. A strong relationship with you helps your teenager feel safe and secure and gives them the confidence to learn and explore especially when they hit the celebrated yet confusing years.
The role of mothers alters with their children’s age and even more during their teens and early adulthood.
Mothers are seen as someone who can provide them that safe place where they can express themselves, discover themselves and discover their path. The questions is always how you make it easy for teenagers as a mom. I have seen the cliched view of when the girl child becomes a teenager, she needs the mom more and the boy child the father. They need you to become a friend.
Parents must play the role of a parent. Teenagers need that safety, they need to feel welcomed, they need to be listened to and guided. I remember this guidance given to me ‘You just need to tell them what is good and what is bad and teach them good values, leave the rest to them, they will figure it out.’
This advice came to me much before my son became a teenager, but it was one of the best that I applied and benefitted from. Of course, like any other mom, I learnt by trial and error and practicing different methods. One thing I know is that I had to be relentless and resilient and frustration or getting agitated over everything they do or say was not going to help anyone. Teenagers the most misunderstood and that doesn’t change right after they move out of their teens as well.
So be that relative that they can turn to, speak to and just approach whenever and wherever they need it.
Image source: a still from the film English Vinglish
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There are many mountains I need to climb just to be, just to live my life, just to have my say... because they are mountains you've built to oppress women.
Trigger Warning: This deals with various kinds of violence against women including rape, and may be triggering for survivors.
I haven’t climbed a literal mountain yet
Was busy with the metaphorical ones – born a woman
Fighting for the air that should have come free
And I am one of the privileged ones, I realize that
Yet, if I get passionate, just like you do
I will pay for it – with burden, shame, – and possibly a life to carry
So, my mountains are the laws you overturn
My mountains are the empty shelves where there should have been pills
When people picked my dadi to place her on the floor, the sheet on why she lay tore. The caretaker came to me and said, ‘Just because you touched her, one of the men carrying her lost his balance.’
The death of my grandmother shattered me. We shared a special bond – she made me feel like I was the best in the world, perfect in every respect.
Apart from losing a person who I loved, her death was also a rude awakening for me about the discrimination women face when it comes to performing the last rites of their loved ones.
On January 23 this year, I lost my 95 year old grandmother (dadi) Nirmala Devi to cardiac arrest. She was that one person who unabashedly praised me. The evening before her death she praised the tea I had made and said that I make better tea than my brother (my brother and I are always competing about who makes the best chai).
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