Abla-Naari To Able-Naari: My Takeaway From Life At 40!

When I turned 40 one thing I learnt is to choose the right battle to fight, it was just one simple realization!

Let me tell you a story, so you can relate to the title of my story better. Go back in your memory lane and think of the movie or a life situation where you saw a woman with young girl child\children lost a job or lost her spouse, you would have noticed that an immediate response that is shown: how will she manage the girl child\children?

When you replace the girl child with a boy child or children, you will see the response changed to, now these kids will only take care of her. That is how our story of abla naari started, and it has only evolved.

If you are reading this post thinking I am going to share all that you should or can do to change this perception, then you are wrong.

At 40, I chose my battles, not others!

When I turned 40 one thing I learnt is to choose the right battle to fight! I am not going to go that way— the happenings of the past; the rest of my story is going to be about how we can transition from being an abla naari to an able naari. Here again no preaching or teaching from me!

If there is no preaching or teaching, what and why am I going to write here? It is just one simple realization!

All the thoughts you have are normal!

I am only attempting to give life to all those thoughts which keep coming to our head, and we conveniently ignore! Assuming it is not right or not okay to think this way or that way, at times we might punish ourselves for even thinking something remotely bad.

The idea is to tell you all, that it is normal and our personal way of thinking is the right way to think, and it is also the valid way to act in that direction.

It is completely okay to think

  • Think of ourselves and our happiness while we are thinking of others and their happiness.
  • Think of putting ourselves first.
  • Think of giving ourselves a pat on the back for a job well done.
  • Think of giving ourselves a break when we need one.
  • Rest, rewind, rejuvenate, and we are allowed and should.
  • Be career oriented and that is completely okay.
  • To decide to not take up a career and that is okay too.
  • To treat ourselves like how we treat everyone else we love.

The list can go on, each of us can make our own list. What is important is not just making the list, but living the list.

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It is time to shred the abla naari form and be the able naari we all are, and we want to be, now or never is real, so go ahead and do it now.

Dedicated to all the Naaris with loads of love.

Image source: Triloks, via Getty Images, free and edited on CanvaPro

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About the Author

Akshatha Karangutkar

I am a simple and fun loving human being. over a period of time have learnt how to keep myself happy without any external stimulus. Another late realization is my ability to express my thoughts read more...

2 Posts | 798 Views

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