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Our feelings are like the alert system on the dashboard of the car. When the fuel light turns on, you don't switch off the dashboard. You understand that the light points to the fuel tank that's running low and needs to be refilled.
The problem with our feelings is…
Many of us have been told that some feelings are positive, and some negative. The subtext of this is that we believe that it’s not okay to experience the “negative” emotions like sadness, anger, frustration…
This can lead us to believe that the feelings in themselves are the problem.
The problem isn’t in our feelings. It’s in how we understand and respond to them.
When we see our feelings as complete information in and of themselves, we’re tempted to: – Resist them – Distract ourselves – Intellectualise how we’re feeling
…all in an effort to make them ‘go away’.
Our feelings are like the alert system on the dashboard of the car. When the fuel light turns on, you don’t switch off the dashboard. You understand that the light points somewhere else—towards the fuel tank that’s running low and needs to be refilled.
Our feelings are similar.
When we feel happy, excited—they’re pointing us towards something that’s working (aka needs being met).
When we feel angry or sad—they are pointing us towards needs that aren’t being met.
Making them go away won’t help—addressing the cause will.
The next time you experience an emotion—pleasant or unpleasant—ask yourself: 1. What could this feeling be pointing me towards? 2. What do I want to do next, now that I know this?
Published here first.
Image source: YouTube/ Pocket Filsm Anamika
Ranjitha Jeurkar is a facilitator who works with groups and individuals, supporting them with emotional awareness, empathy, conflict resolution and collaborative communication skills. She is a Certified Trainer with the Center for Nonviolent Communication. You read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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