Over the years, your support has made Women’s Web the leading resource for women in India. Now, it is our turn to ask, how can we make this even more useful for you? Please take our short 5 minute questionnaire – your feedback is important to us!
From picking up toys or handling doctors appointments or responding to emergency calls from school or managing birthday party invites or navigating exam schedules - it all falls on the mother.
I am so annoyed about Mother’s Day!
Over the years I have written a lot about motherhood and every year when Mother’s Day comes along, I revisit this topic. This year I resisted writing about it.
I’m not sure if it has anything to do with the stage of my life or just my general state of mind but I was extremely annoyed when I saw the following on a calendar for May:
“DO NOTHING DAY – Moms are always there to shower us with love and care every day whether we are 6, 18 or 30. Let’s do the same, starting with giving her a well-deserved day off on Mother’s Day and treating her like the queen she is.”
So moms get a sanctioned day ‘off’ once a year for a job well done? Or because she is elevated to ‘queen’ status annually for a lifetime of labor (not just the part in the delivery room)?
One of my favourite authors, Anna Quindlen, has written several essays about motherhood but the title of one of her novels Still Life With Bread Crumbs refers to a famous picture of her messy kitchen after a party, taken by the central character, a young photographer who is also a mother.
The picture captures the quiet clutter of a house that is far from pristine – the antithesis of the glossy mother’s day photos you see splattered across social media.
The truth about motherhood is that is is difficult and messy and out of control on most days. While some part of it has to do with the physical demands of giving birth, the greater investment is of time and energy that women pour into their homes and lives because NO ONE ELSE PICKS IT UP.
From picking up toys or handling doctors appointments or responding to emergency calls from school or managing birthday party invites or navigating exam schedules – it all falls on the mother whether or not she is willing or even the best person to do all of it.
Jobs and appraisals don’t accommodate for the invisible emotional labor that goes into keeping a home running. Society prefers to pay lip service to Instagrammable moments while ignoring the ugly reality of women’s lives that are untenable due to disparity in gender roles, when it comes to family life.
Image source: a still from the film English Vinglish
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views. Individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times. If you have a complementary or differing point of view, sign up and start sharing your views too!
Dr. Ranjani Rao is a trained scientist and a self-taught writer, the author of Rewriting My read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
Bhool Bhulaiyaa 2 might have had a box office collection of 260 crores INR and entertained Indian audiences, but it's full of problematic stereotypes.
Bhool Bhulaiyaa 2 starts with a scene in which the protagonist, Ruhaan (played by Kartik Aaryan) finds an abandoned pink suitcase in a moving cable car and thinks there was a bomb inside it.
Just then, he sees an unknown person (Kiara Advani) wave and gesture at him to convey that the suitcase was theirs. Ruhaan, with the widest possible smile, says, “Bomb mai bag nahi hai, bomb ka bag hai,” (There isn’t a bomb in the bag, the bag belongs to a bomb).
Who even writes such dialogues in 2022?
Most of us dislike being called aunty because of the problematic meanings attached to it. But isn't it time we accept growing old with grace?
Recently, during one of those deep, thoughtful conversations with my 3 y.o, I ended a sentence with “…like those aunty types.” I quickly clicked my tongue. I changed the topic and did everything in my hands to make her forget those last few words.
I sat down with a cup of coffee and drilled myself about how the phrase ‘aunty-type’ entered my lingo. I have been hearing this word ‘aunty’ a lot these days, because people are addressing me so.
Almost a year ago, I was traveling in a heavily-crowded bus and a college girl asked me “Aunty, can you please hold my bag?” It was the first time and I was first shocked and later offended. Then I thought about why I felt so.