Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
From picking up toys or handling doctors appointments or responding to emergency calls from school or managing birthday party invites or navigating exam schedules - it all falls on the mother.
I am so annoyed about Mother’s Day!
Over the years I have written a lot about motherhood and every year when Mother’s Day comes along, I revisit this topic. This year I resisted writing about it.
I’m not sure if it has anything to do with the stage of my life or just my general state of mind but I was extremely annoyed when I saw the following on a calendar for May:
“DO NOTHING DAY – Moms are always there to shower us with love and care every day whether we are 6, 18 or 30. Let’s do the same, starting with giving her a well-deserved day off on Mother’s Day and treating her like the queen she is.”
So moms get a sanctioned day ‘off’ once a year for a job well done? Or because she is elevated to ‘queen’ status annually for a lifetime of labor (not just the part in the delivery room)?
One of my favourite authors, Anna Quindlen, has written several essays about motherhood but the title of one of her novels Still Life With Bread Crumbs refers to a famous picture of her messy kitchen after a party, taken by the central character, a young photographer who is also a mother.
The picture captures the quiet clutter of a house that is far from pristine – the antithesis of the glossy mother’s day photos you see splattered across social media.
The truth about motherhood is that is is difficult and messy and out of control on most days. While some part of it has to do with the physical demands of giving birth, the greater investment is of time and energy that women pour into their homes and lives because NO ONE ELSE PICKS IT UP.
From picking up toys or handling doctors appointments or responding to emergency calls from school or managing birthday party invites or navigating exam schedules – it all falls on the mother whether or not she is willing or even the best person to do all of it.
Jobs and appraisals don’t accommodate for the invisible emotional labor that goes into keeping a home running. Society prefers to pay lip service to Instagrammable moments while ignoring the ugly reality of women’s lives that are untenable due to disparity in gender roles, when it comes to family life.
Image source: a still from the film English Vinglish
Dr. Ranjani Rao is a trained scientist and a self-taught writer, the author of Rewriting My read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
Please enter your email address