Keen to learn more about inclusive workplaces? Want to be inclusive of the LGBTQ+ community? Download our special report with Randstad India on making Inclusion without Exception happen
To all the women out there: Spend some time to read yourself and initiate a simple transition in you, so your dignity becomes your identity!
On a gloomy evening, brim-full of abhorrence and despondency, I buried my face in the pillow reluctant to face the world. I simply couldn’t digest the behaviour that unfolded earlier in the day, absolutely out of my control. Overwhelmed with regret, I wished I had an undo option to set things right.
“What am I up to? Where did the sudden wave of emotions emanate from?” were the questions whirling up in my mind. After hours of crying my eyes out, the agony and scepticism sedimented and I breathed a sigh of relief.
Being a woman, it was not uncommon for me to submerge and rise repeatedly in the ocean of emotions. Never had I tried to comprehend and fix it as it was my business as usual. But that day of emotional outburst didn’t feel right. Stabbed with guilt, I once and for all decided to explore my mysterious self.
The next morning, having taken a break from household chores and office, I spent my alone time tasting the bliss of nature. The warm sun rays penetrating through the amiable atmosphere assured that every cloud has a silver lining.
As I was walking on my terrace garden respiring the flowery breeze and hearkening to the cheeping and chirping of the enchanting birds, I felt thirsty. I glanced at my water bottle, and I noticed a stream of thoughts rushing through my brain:
“Ah-ah, the bottle is empty, God I feel thirsty!”
“Is it my turn to water the plants today?”
“The green plants are amazing; it reminds me of my last vacation. Such a natural intrinsic spot!”
“Hold! Vacation? Did I mail the planned leave details for this month to my manager?”
“By the way, the demo for the Washington client is scheduled tomorrow, should work on it.”
I paused for a while and rewound my thoughts. I realized that my brain had established a velocious connection from a water bottle to Washington in a matter of seconds. Quite amusing!
All this while, I used to travel with my thoughts and forget their point of origination. But that day, I perceived a fact that a million things are going on in my brain, and as long as I become cognizant of those, mastering myself would be a tough row to hoe. Thenceforth, I began to pen down my peculiar thoughts, behaviours, and actions which caught my attention and tried to work on them.
Apart from the super-fast interlinking abilities of my brain, a few remarkable factors which I noticed about myself are the emotional dependencies, outbursts, dreary mood swings, dramatic expectations, vivid remembrance of the past events (mainly of the bad), possessiveness, sensitivity, and the inability to act at the moment and having regrets later on.
I did extensive research about the woman’s brain and the way it works. It was quite relatable when I learned about the strong inter-wiring mechanism of the neural connections in a woman’s brain (far different from a man’s brain), thereby leading to quick interrelating capability. Furthermore, a woman’s brain is driven by emotions, and no wonder a woman can socialize better than a man. Yet, cognitivism is often masked by a layer of emotionalism that urges a woman to be too quick to assume, judge, and react.
Essentially, a woman’s brain is equally dramatic allowing more blood flow to the part which holds the emotional memories. Moreover, a woman retains intense memories of past events and revisits them as much as possible in every situation.
Needless to pinpoint the physical transitions in a woman’s body, the phases of puberty, monthly cycles, pregnancy, lactation, menopause, etc., induce hormonal changes and have a significant impact on the way a woman feels and behaves. Sadly, women of this generation are widely affected by postpartum depression and are fighting hard to come out of it.
Thus, I realized I’m what I’m mainly because of the way my brain is.
Well, is it all in my brain and I’ve no control over it?
The hormonal changes aren’t on my plate; hence it is obvious that mood swings unfold and is unavoidable. Reminiscing the past events in my brain’s default nature, little can I blame myself for it. Driven by emotional energy, what else to expect other than every then and now outbursts!
A pile of questions ran up my mind. Would the mood swings continue along so I better familiarize myself with feeling low frequently? Should I get habituated to being struck with the painful memories and the stacked-up stress because of it? Is exploding my emotions to others, the only way to feel light and is it okay to do, for I do it only to my loved ones?
Though the outright answer to the above questions roar ‘Yes’, there is much more to it. The brain, being an organ, can be exercised and trained to keep it at its best. It’s easy to say than do!
Being stubborn to take control of myself, I decided to meditate for 15 minutes a day daily. Apparently, meditation is one of the smooth ways to train our brains. Oftentimes it felt like a fish out of water; some days I was able to meditate neatly and connect with my inner self; some days the entire 15 minutes, I was constantly swirling in my thoughts unable to escape from it; some days I dozed off in tiredness; some days when I just sat to meditate, I had the urge to do certain things immediately and ended the session; some days I was not at ease while meditating and it felt better to quit; some days it was depressing as I felt I don’t meditate the right way, and some days I simply didn’t have time to meditate.
Despite the mixed feelings, I stuck to the habit of 15-minute sessions (not so consistently) only to notice changes in my body, though not immediately. The mood swings and the agitation were far better than before, the urge to react immediately subsided, working towards being present at the moment was a huge success (though messy oftentimes), and the ability to stop me from digging into the past was at its peak. Most importantly, I started searching for solutions to my problems within me and not outside me; my emotional dependencies greatly receded.
It dawned on me that I needn’t perfectly meditate every day to bring about the changes in me. Just a 15-minute silence is all I must afford to lead a peaceful life. I’ve reached the stage of conscious competence in taking charge of my emotions and it might take a long way to excel in it. Yet it is possible sooner or later.
To all the beautiful ladies out there: Spend some time to read yourself and initiate a simple transition in you, so your dignity becomes your identity!
Image Credits: Milad Fakurian on Unsplash
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views. Individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times. If you have a complementary or differing point of view, sign up and start sharing your views too!
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
Women in India enter into the institution of marriage not with any guarantee but just some faith, and any man who has a healthy and safe relationship with his wife would understand the gravity of the situation and welcome such a law.
Trigger Warning: This deals with rape, marital rape, and violence against women, and may be triggering for survivors.
The Criminal Law Amendment Act, 1983 has made a statutory provision in the face of Section.114 (A) of the Evidence Act, which states that if the victim girl says that she did no consent to the sexual intercourse, the Court shall presume that she did not consent.
Passive giving in is not consent. However, it is unclear why the above rule is not applied to cases in marriage where clear consent is not given by the wife.
The criticism for Gehraiyaan has irked many women, and given incels, moral policers, and envious trolls the opportunity to harass an actress who has finally played the most realistic character in her career.
I’m sorry that I’m late to the party. But I finally decided to write on why I think Deepika’s character in Gehraiyaan is actually one of her best chosen roles.
Disclaimer: Deepika is a tall, good looking actress, who I never really considered a phenomenal or decent actress. After noticing the hullabaloo around this film, I dared to watch it on Amazon Prime. To be frank, the movie offered me nothing interesting or new, and as someone who is both a movie and TV show buff, I didn’t even lift an eyebrow. However, if there was one thing that I found realistic in the film, it was Alisha’s character. No, this is not another review, but a character analysis of the female protagonist in this film. Honestly, this is one of the most real characters that I have seen this actress play.
A woman hailing from a middle- class family, trying to make ends meet, while her incompetent father and partner have failed to be financial heads of the family. They have failed to keep the family afloat, and Alisha’s character has no choice but to take on the responsibility.