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This Women's Day let's stop weighing down women with whole range of additional qualities that make her look extra-terrestrial. She exists just like everything else in this world. Whether she is marvellous or not she will decide.
From Pushpa I hate tears to Pushpa -The fire and not flower we have indeed come a long way. Pushpa -This humble simple name has a long history. It once symbolised a hapless women who only shed tears in wake of any sort of assault on her ranging from physical, sexual, mental, and emotional to even societal.
Unable to fight the odds the innocuous looking tears were her only weapon and she shed them unabashedly at every chance. How did the masculine world react to her tears? Well to begin with they enjoyed her tears as they projected a sign of her dependence, her frailty and her sense of weakness. Who was to be blamed….of course Pushpa herself for letting tears flow waiting for someone to wipe them. But are we still in the Pushpa mould today. Heck no….Pushpa and her tears are long lost history. Wake up and smell coffee. You are looking at us- the women of today who now singularly complete their world.
I am everything today what I could be- an entrepreneur, a homemaker, a single parent, a single happy woman, a professional or simply myself. I don’t need tags to define myself. What did I do….nothing? I simply acknowledged that my existence is most important for no one but me.
The vastness of this universe does not baffle me for I no longer consider my presence in it to be miniscule. I am a woman who everyday stands in front of the mirror and says wow you are remarkable. It was not easy to come this long but was it difficult? Did the woman face lot of odds to reach here today? Actually No. She just had to say a big flat No. The day this magical word came out of her lips the world changed for her.
Is it easy being a woman? We have grown up with the answer that is not easy being a woman but I would say it is not tough being a woman. Are men and women equal? The ever intimidating and formidable question with the most clichéd and acceptable answer – Yes. I say why we have to even go this way. Nature has been gracious enough to put every creature on earth in the same pedestal. Do birds, bees and fishes even think about equality? No- because equality is neither to be bestowed nor to be claimed. The day you are born into this vastness you’re free like every other creature so the question of demanding and asserting equality never should surface.
Another question- Are women superior or multi taskers? Women are women -period. Do not put dockets to recognize what they do. Existence never deprives anyone of capacities. Women are emotional ? Again I would say they channelize emotions into expression….a quality everyone has. Women are better care givers? No they care just like anyone else. Only their virtue is over exemplified and exaggerated. She is supposed to be ethical, moral and correct always. Don’t judge. Your yardsticks will fail to measure her up
So this Women’s Day let’s stop weighing down women with whole range of additional qualities that make her look extra-terrestrial. She exists just like everything else in this world. Whether she is marvellous or not she will decide. Whether she needs equal right is out of question. How she thinks, behaves, emotes and expresses herself is no one’s business.
Leave her alone. She will bloom. In her mind she always bloomed even as the Pushpa shedding tears. She always had a free will and mind. You just saw it now. Pushpa not flower but fire…..does it make sense to you now?
Image source: a still from short film Ghar ki Murgi
I am a post doctorate in social sciences, specializing in education and a professor at Somaiya Vidyavihar University. My areas of expertise are Research , Life skills and Management of Education. I am a voracious reader read more...
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I struggled to reconcile the two aspects- the formidable talent who literally moulded kathak into its modern form and the man who took advantage of women in his charge.
Trigger Warning: This speaks of sexual abuse and grooming by someone in a position of power and may be triggering for survivors.
The noted Kathak exponent Pandit Birju Maharaj passed away two years back. His death affected me greatly because I had just become a student of kathak and the composition we were learning then was one of his. For the next couple of days, I let his baritone voice comfort me while I mourned the fact that I would never see him teach or perform live.
Then the allegations of sexual harassment started coming out, which left me stunned. There was no question of not believing the victims/ survivors. Anyone who understands how power dynamics work knows that the classical music and dance space offers immense scope for sexual abuse. As a woman and as a feminist, I offered nothing less than unconditional support to the women speaking up.
A feminist man sometimes seems like an oxymoron, but maybe there are some out there. How is it to be married to a feminist man?
How is it to be married to a feminist man?
This is a working list. Will keep adding to it.
Do you also have a feminist man at home? And if yes, what is it to be married to him? Do share.
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