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With wedding season there comes the societal pressures to get married. As single women, we often feel anxious about it. Here are some tips on how to tackle wedding season with optimism!
Wedding season and the anxiety – many of us get this very well. No offence to the ones who really enjoy weddings and look forward to it.
But the rest of us, especially single women, who have to face an impending shower of questions from aunties and uncles do not always look forward to weddings. Not that we don’t like weddings. But it’s always an additional burden adding to our anxiety.
Add to this the COVID anxiety, the anxiety to get out not in our pyjamas but in sarees and lehengas, and face the world after what has been a weird ride of two years. Most of which is not even registered in the head. Socialization also makes some of us anxious.
Some quick tips to face the wedding season as a single woman!
Here are some quick tips for you that might help you face the world. Anxieties do not completely go away because there are many related and overlapping factors, but a certain chain of thoughts and actions can help us to a certain extent.
Easier said than done, I know, but think about it, why panic? Just because you’re growing older? Alone? And people will look at you and judge you? Do you really deserve that kind of pressure on you when everything in your life should be about you and only you? Don’t let anyone else win when they don’t even know you and your battles. We all try our best in every situation that we are in. Others don’t know your story. They have absolutely no right to affect you.
Dress up not just for the special occasion but also before you attend the wedding. Take out your best clothes from your closet, match them with your accessories and dress up and stand in front of the mirror. It’s not an exercise in futility. It’s about creativity and admiring yourself, your own strong, beautiful self. You’re not dressing up for the world, but just for yourself. And believe it or not, change, colours, creativity does make one feel better.
This one is very important, for life, in general. It’s extremely necessary to understand and accept where you are in life and what you want to get out of a particular situation. We exist for ourselves and not for the world. The better we accept this reality, the sooner we’ll understand that it’s actually a life worth living and that it is possible to find happiness, no matter where we are.From personal experience, I do get zoned out in some situations. Under stressful situations, I have acted and faced things like a robot. It does not help. Mindfulness is very important. Absorb every little emotion and do not push it under the carpet. Otherwise, it takes a toll on both physical and mental health.
And speaking of realities, let’s accept it, marriage or no marriage, we will still have challenges. Life will not be a bed of roses. We will still feel lonely and broken in situations and only we can help ourselves. There are many forms of love and support and we don’t have to have a husband for love and support. Solutions to our problems are not in marriage.
Men are amazing, but so are single women. You’re single because you chose to be single, because you felt, that at least for now, you’re better off alone. Marriage can be a by-product of life, but not all women are Cinderellas to fit their feet in glass shoes.
There shall be times we shall wear a pair of boots, and there shall be times we will be barefoot. What’s important is to have a meaningful life.
Yes, a festivity. See a wedding as a festivity because that is how it is seen in India. We even have a season for it! See it as any other grand festival with tiny associated functions. Just flow with the good positive energy and you’ll see the glow on your face. It’s a beautiful celebration of two souls uniting. At that moment everything should be about them, and you’re a participant in the grand scheme of things. Go with that attitude. Go with a smile.
When you’ll smile from within, you’ll enjoy it the most. Ask yourself, why are you attending a certain wedding? It’s about those two people and their decision to invite and involve you in something that is very important and pious to them. You matter to them. Not just that, you’re attending for some good food, good music, dance, and perhaps company? Yes, take a friend along with you. Laugh a lot, sing a lot, click pictures and take a break from your hectic life. You’ll be a new person when you come back home.
Moreover, people cannot intimidate with questions and comments a person who is happy and least concerned about their remarks. Your happiness will emanate from you, and when that happens, nothing else will matter.
This world does have good people too. You’ll know it when you come across souls that are genuinely kind and caring. And you will connect with them. People who will understand you are worth having a conversation with, and you can find such people at random weddings too! Try not to have prejudices before attending an event. Try not to stay away from people. You can always meet one or many nice people at a wedding.
We marry because we want to get married. Because we feel we have found the right one. We don’t have to get married just because our friends are getting married, or our biological clock is ticking, or because ALL good men will be married by the time we decide on marriage. We don’t have to get married because it’s the ‘right’ age. We can find a good man even when we are older, he could be younger or older to us. We can find a good man and still not decide to get married. Or, we might never meet someone. We might choose to stay single all our life. In any case, we will age like fine wine. Our realities won’t change.
Weddings are beautiful. Be it ours or someone else’s. But with the kind of societal pressure and the uncertainties in the world, the struggle of life gets tougher, sometimes tiring, especially for single women. But you have to have a little faith in yourself and your decisions.
Don’t let anyone dictate you or affect you. Don’t also let anyone else’s life make you feel any small or less. You’re complete. You’re strong. You’re beautiful.
Image source: Yaad Piya Ki Aane Lagi
Mostly writing, other times painting. Here to celebrate little wins. I am on the same page as you, just a different book - you read mine, I'll read yours.
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