I Am Dealing With A Failed Marriage & Solo Travelling Is My Solution To The Stress!

Ladies, you need to give solo travelling a chance! It's been 6 years since I ventured out on my own, and trust me, it's been a wonderful experience!

#Travelling is Bae, Travelling is Life, Travelling is everything! I believe we all have come across various one-liners and paragraphs on travelling. For me…Travel is a refresher’s guide in times of monotony and distress. Travel is a form of challenging oneself. Travel is a mode of self-discovery. Travel is self-care.

We all travel to our workplaces, places of worship etc, but when it comes to leisure travel, there is a different connotation attached. Solo travelling in India is on the rise, and each day, women are taking a step forward to go solo.

Has anyone given a thought to solo travelling? Solo travelling in India? Is it safe to travel in India as a woman? My answer to these questions, drawing from my experiences would be, “Yes, solo travel even in India is safe for women.”

The beginning of my solo travelling adventures

I have always been shy and a recluse since my formative years and meeting people was strict no. In fact, I used to run away from people! Travelling was out of the question back then. Growing up in a conservative family with 7 pm deadlines, my parents would often wonder if I would progress in the outside world due to my nature.

However, being a loner was easy and it has helped me, as I saw myself grow from a shy person to someone who has learned to travel on my own. I owe my transformation to my job as a media sales executive in a reputed company. This job expected me to initiate meetings, go out and meet people. It was a stepping stone to success, especially travel.

The second reason was the evolution of technology, usage of smartphones, and travel apps. They were my saviours while preparing for the trips. Most of them were helpful, and some provided the best deals on a last minute or random trip. Engaging with like-minded travellers was still far off, but I knew I had to pull up my socks and start meeting people or at least read some useful blogs that would help me decide my further course of action.

As an independent woman, I have always made my decisions!

You must be wondering how easy or difficult it is for women to travel on their own. Yes, I’ve had my fair share of fights, arguments with my family, but perseverance is the key ingredient to my success in convincing my folks. It is very difficult to convince parents and husbands about trips. 

As an independent woman, I have always seen myself calling the shots about my life. So, taking approval for travel was out of the question. Here, I enter the dangerous territory of being labelled as a rebel. So, mind you, woman travellers, you might also face the same scenario, but a strong woman can always defend herself in tricky situations is what I firmly believe and so must you! Never give up on your dreams, because we live only once. 

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Questions that will you will be asked if you are a solo woman traveller (Single or married does not matter!)

Don’t you have a sense of responsibility?

Who will be assisting you on the trips?

Who will be sponsoring you?

Is there anyone waiting for you out there, if a place is repeated?

How will you manage yourself?

Hope you don’t indulge in any unsafe activities…hinting at a different perspective?

How can you leave your husband behind and travel??

Who will take care of him, whilst you are gallivanting up in the hills or beaches?

Challenges in the form of questions and behaviour attributions will always be a part of a woman’s life. However, being headstrong and determined to go along is the only way that we women can pursue our passion, whatever it may be. My twenties was spent in just writing my goals and bucket list. I wanted to try solo travelling to international and domestic destinations, but no action was taken.

Every woman should try solo travelling!

In India, women are never encouraged to pursue their passion; it is always family first and then everything follows. If you are single, then you need your parent’s approval and if married, it’s that of the husband and his family. So where do we stand? How do we go about it?

In my case, I am dealing with a failed marriage, and traveling is a solution to my stressed-out condition. I don’t seek my husband’s permission; I just inform him. In fact, he is aware of the plans that I make, but on the positive side, his constant NO to my questions resulted in me solo travelling. His NO was my YES to move into the unknown. It has been 6 years now since I ventured out on my own, and trust me, it has been a wonderful experience. Yes, there were tragic moments, disappointments, and surprises, but all the effort was worth it. Every place has a different story that enfolds you and creates a different vibe altogether.

Personally speaking, it was very difficult for me to collate my thoughts and ideas about traveling. Understanding the nuances of solo travelling, the risk and time involved, all that had to be grasped well and considered accordingly. In short, a well-planned activity needed to be on the list.

In the end, I see myself solo travelling more often when we are out of this pandemic, and I hope every woman experiences it. It’s one hell of a life and we must live it up!

Image source: Still from Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani 

(A version of this post has earlier appeared here: https://theprose.com/violetdenise)

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denise Borges

An Avid reader and a travel enthusiast who believes in simplicity. read more...

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