If you are a professional in an emerging industry, like gaming, data science, cloud computing, digital marketing etc., that has promising career opportunities, this is your chance to be featured in #CareerKiPaathshaala. Fill up this form today!
All her life, a woman is expected to constantly adjust and stop thinking of her own dreams. But it's 2021, she need not compromise!
All her life, a woman is expected to constantly adjust and stop thinking of her own dreams. But it’s 2021, she need not compromise!
Why is it constantly expected for a woman to be the only one making all the adjustments and compromises? I have seen several different relationships between different men and women. And the one thing I found in common in all these relationships, is always the woman who is making the most number of compromises.
We still live in a society where women start their days early in the morning and end it after everyone is asleep. It is so sad that Indian women still aren’t getting proper sleep even today!
In every step of a woman’s life, she is constantly making compromises and adjustments. Right from her teenage to her marriage and it continues even after her marriage!
As a teenager, the girl is expected to serve food to everyone in the house including her brother who may be the same age or younger than her! She is expected to help her mother with all the household chores along with completing her education. And if she objects to any of this, she is asked to stay quiet as this is something every girl has to learn for her future.
As an adult, along with her college stuff, she is handling half or more than half of the responsibilities at home. If she asks for even half the freedom that her brother is getting, there’s a whole different argument that takes place at her house.
The girl has to compromise on going out on college trips and night outs with her friends along with a number of other things. If she asks when she’d be able to enjoy her life on her own terms, she is told that she can do so after she starts earning.
As soon as her college is over and she gets a job, the other issue she faces is that of the ‘rishtas.’ Yes, you read that right. The girl’s parents and relatives start bringing rishtas for her and start pressuring her to get married. And if she asks if she can live her life now that she’s earning, her parents tell her she can do so after she gets married.
After having dealt with all the emotional drama by her family, the girl has pretty much compromised on her dreams of being independent. She has given up on ever being career-oriented and is taught many lessons of compromising. Her parents train her to be kind to her in-laws and not to let them down ever.
After her marriage, the girl is now living her life according to her husband and her in-laws. Living life on her own terms seems lost now. No one in her family tries to understand her struggles or the compromises she has been making.
If you think this isn’t something you have faced, you are lucky that you have a great family and people around you. However, this is the reality of a number of women in India. Their brains are so well-conditioned since childhood by society that they often don’t see what’s wrong with such a life.
I want women to realise that if they don’t want a life like this, they need to learn to stand up for themselves. Women need to learn to be a little selfish and understand that there is nothing wrong with being this kind of ‘selfish.’
Society will constantly try to break you but you are strong, you are amazing and whatever you’re doing, you are doing it fabulously!
Picture credits: Still from Netflix movie Dolly Kitty Aur Woh Chamakte Sitare
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views. Individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times. If you have a complementary or differing point of view, sign up and start sharing your views too!
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
Shows like Indian Matchmaking only further the argument that women must adhere to social norms without being allowed to follow their hearts.
When Netflix announced that Indian Matchmaking (2020-present) would be renewed for a second season, many of us hoped for the makers of the show to take all the criticism they faced seriously. That is definitely not the case because the show still continues to celebrate regressive patriarchal values.
Here are a few of the gendered notions that the show propagates.
A mediocre man can give himself a 9.5/10 and call himself ‘the world’s most eligible bachelor’, but an independent and successful woman must be happy with receiving just 60-70% of what she feels she deserves.
As long as teachers are competent in their job, and adhere to the workplace code of conduct, how does it matter what they do in their personal lives?
A 30 year old Associate Professor at a well-known University, according to an FIR filed by her, was forced to resign because the father of one of her students complained that he found his son looking at photographs of her, which according to him were “objectionable” and “bordering on nudity”.
There are two aspects to this case, which are equally disturbing, and which together make me question where we are heading as a society.
When the father of an 18 year old finds his son looking at photographs of a lady in a swimsuit, he can do many things. What this parent allegedly did was to dash off a letter to the University which states: