Aiyyo Aiyya, After The Recent Zomato Incident, Mard Khatre Mein Hain?!

While the recent Zomato incident was regrettable, it isn't Ok for MRAs to let loose their inner trolls and call the woman in question names.

While the recent Zomato incident was regrettable, it isn’t Ok for MRAs to let loose their inner trolls and call the woman in question names.

Is the recent Zomato incident a gender or caste issue? This question has divided everyone who’ve picked their sides already.

Let me tell you at the outset, I’m supporting Kamraj. Of course, there are all kinds of men, but listening to both sides, I’m more inclined to believe Kamraj. It’s unfortunate to see Kamraj’s plight as he has much more, if not everything, to lose here. He looked mortified and traumatized in his pleas for justice.

Why would a highly rated employee who’s been with Zomato for a few years suddenly punch the woman in question and risk his livelihood? Knowing very well, she’s in touch with the customer care team and can escalate the issue? It doesn’t make any sense, as that’s a sure-shot way of losing his job. Unless he’s a psychopath, and that’s the police’s job to investigate who’s the abuser and the victim in this case. I do hope the law is fair and listens to both parties objectively. May truth and justice prevail!

But there’s another side to the issue I want to highlight

However, the support for Kamraj has exposed the reality of our society. The filth and ugliness of MANkind.

From being slut-shamed and called a ‘Randi,’ ‘Pishachini,’ ‘Soorpankha,’ (a jibe at her bruised nose), Hitesha Chandranee is the new scapegoat for men to bash feminism. Now, all feminists are fake and pseudo. And suddenly, “Mard kathrey mein hain” and “Mard ko bhi dard hota hain” So, there’s a dire need for a Men’s Commission to save all Indian men from Indian feminists.

But you know what? We are seeing women supporting the men’s commission. Hell, we also have a men’s activist on Twitter who’s a woman, who fights for men who’ve been ‘falsely accused and implicated by women’?!

What are the REAL feminists saying here?

Women, including feminists, are secure in their skin and okay with the idea of a separate Men’s Commission as long as men have a place to fight their case, if they’ve been victimized. So, dear men, please calm your penises!

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Feminism means equality, and not blindly supporting women. If you don’t listen to both sides of the story objectively, you’re no feminist.

I’ve seen two responses of feminists in the Zomato case.

  • Either they have disassociated themselves from supporting Hitesha Chandranee and offered their support to Kamraj.
  • Or they’ve not picked any side and have left to the Law to make the final judgement.

So, who are these ‘fake feminists’ that our Indian men are badmouthing on social media?

Calling out men for their skewed ‘activism’

Also, where are the men supporting women who’ve been victims of gender-based abuse and violence? They’ll watch like zombies when women are being raped in broad daylight or will be voyeurs of such scenes on screen – remember the Pollachi incident? But they’ll roar like lions on social media when one of their kind is accused, like in the Zomato case between Kamraj and Hitesha Chandranee.

You have to give it to men, though, for prioritising their interests at the topmost. We, women, have to learn from our male counterparts how to unite despite all differences and be selfish regarding our self-interests and rights.

Because we still have educated women who proudly claim they are not feminists as if it’s a fashion statement. Worse still, a sneaky opportunity to instigate the majority male population in our country, and get into their good books. These sexist women provoke and mislead them into believing that feminism is an anti-men mob. When the truth is, feminism stands for equal rights. Feminism is not misandry, as is the popular misconception.

Forget about supporting women’s rights and feminism; where are these men when there are incidents of caste-based abuse and crimes?

Let’s learn the concept of dignity of labour, shall we?

People like Kamraj hold no ‘value’ in our current social fabric. Most of our citizens don’t understand the concept of dignity of labour, and there’s unaddressed and widespread exploitation.

I remember a male relative who visited me at the hospital after my daughter’s birth asked my mother about the nurses and other help. He advised her to make the most of them.

“Use them as much as you can!” he winked.

Exploit them as much as you can! That was his crooked message.

“Why don’t they use the staircase? We’re the ones paying for maintenance?” said the male neighbour in our apartment who detests the thought of domestic maids, drivers, and the ‘lower’ economic class using the elevator.

I know another middle-aged couple who’s known for extracting the maximum work in minimum wages from their domestic help. The man, who’s the official ‘head’ of the house, sits mum, as his wife verbally abuses the maid for the slightest mistake. If the maid is late to make and serve the fatted couple their breakfast, both man and wife join hands to threaten and emotionally blackmail her.

“You are poor because it’s your fault. All of you are just so dumb. You deserve this life of poverty.” I heard a rich lady once scream at the top of her lungs at her male house help.

These are not fictional stories. There are countless stories of abuse of the lesser privileged sections of our society.

Are these men sleeping when the abuse of lesser privileged people happens right under their noses in their homes, workplace, and elsewhere? No, they are silent bystanders, if not abusers and enablers.

So, yes, I find it a tad amusing that the men have fully exposed themselves in their pursuit for a Men’s Commission in a nation where the crimes against women are the highest in the world.

India a leader on global standards of sexual violence & discrimination

According to a 2018 global study conducted by Thomson Reuters Foundation,

  • India ranks No.1 at sexual violence, human trafficking, culture, and religion against women.
  • India ranks No. 3 at discrimination which includes discrimination against women in daily life like in education, in a job, lack of access to adequate nutrition, property or inheritance rights, etc.
  • India ranks No. 4 for health access and includes maternal mortality, lack of healthcare access, lack of control over reproductive health and HIV/AIDS.
  • India ranks No. 3 at non-sexual violence and includes domestic physical and mental abuse, conflict-related violence comes under non-sexual violence.

We’d have been a country with a majority of women had it not been for female infanticide. A barbaric practice that reflects our nation’s sick mindset, which worships Goddesses on one hand for material prosperity and kills its female offsprings for financial savings.

The truth is that we Indians have scant respect for women or people belonging to the lower caste.

Still think “Mard kathrey mein hain?” 


Well then, Hypocrisy, thy name is Man!

But then again, can a man be a victim?

Yes, a man can be a victim, as can anyone belonging to an upper caste community. But these are exceptions in the current social landscape of our country. Look at the statistics and the magnitude of crimes against women, and specifically marginalised women, in our country and the world. There is no comparison. 

So, let’s not tear down feminism and caste activism at the slightest opportunity to cover up for our hypocrisy, and lack of empathy, knowledge, and insight into the actual problems that plague our society.

Image source: YouTube

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Tina Sequeira

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