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I don't think there is anything wrong with my husband and I expressing love freely and within boundaries in front of our kids. Do you?
I don’t think there is anything wrong with my husband and I expressing love freely and within boundaries in front of our kids. Do you?
I plant a peck on his lips, circle my arms around his belly, ruffle his balding hair and tell him how much I love him. He responds as he does every morning with a kiss on my neck and launches us into discussing lunch options.
Meanwhile, our eight-year-old observes us, averts his eyes, smiles and goes back to slurping cereal. Our resolution to ensure expressing love in our children’s company (while keeping it within physical boundaries suitable for their age) has infused an enchanting, joyful environment at home.
However, our conservative extended families, with the excuse of “culture” challenge our efforts to maintain such an atmosphere. Thanks to our nuclear family of four, I am not compelled to tolerate their displeasures for too long. Nevertheless, my vehement, uncompromising opposition of their antiquated perspectives has earned me adversaries who have structurally alienated us.
These are women who believe it is appropriate to argue in front of their children, and men who do not hesitate to harm their spouses in front of the youngsters. Yet, devoid of all shame, they celebrate anniversaries, share snappy photos on social media for display. The obstinate sanctimony and fakery are okay for young minds, but not body language that says – I love you?
These are couples who devolved into enforcing a social order of women dutifully cooking while men debate politics pretending expertise. They are adults harbouring intuitions that normalise suppression of girls through imposing categorical, discriminating lifestyles.
These are creatures who are fearless to condemn my choice to kiss my husband in public because that is not an example a woman should set in society. Yet, they cower under the glares of faulty husbands and in-laws.
Thank you for banning me. I detest your ‘ideologies’, your dominant influence on young souls you are unfortunately responsible for and your bigotry lacking limits.
Every time, I shall oppose every being of your kind. And I shall preach that parents showing love towards each other are one of the critical aspects resulting in happier childhoods and joyfully balanced children. These youngsters will grow up to cherish their parents as adults whom they can approach to discuss their budding romances, feelings and emotions.
Next time, despite the crowd, if you feel like it – express love. Your children will notice and reciprocate with positivity.
Picture credits: Still from Bollywood movie Sky Is Pink
I studied Religion & Conflict at Harvard University.
I am a freelance, mostly uncharted journalist, with roots in the London School of Journalism.
I grew up within a multi-cultural, inter-continental tapestry of race variations, read more...
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I recommend reading Manjiri Indurkar's Origami Aai alongside her memoir to have a fulfilling and enriching experience of telling one's story with grace.
It’s All In Your Head, M famed author Manjiri Indurkar’s debut poetry collection, Origami Aai, is independent and yet an extension of her memoir in which she speaks with utmost grace about all forms of abuses that she has survived. In this book of intriguing and evocative poems, the poet weaves words to form images of the everyday life of her middle-class family, love found and lost, trauma, and healing.
The collection is divided into four segments, beginning with the family, slowly moving towards the world, and finally colliding them together.
We aren’t in mourning, but we are creatures of habit.
So we talk of each one who died of drowning,
and I listen to her stories with the patience
of a chronicler.
– Funereal Stories
When someone accuses you of "too much feminism", what they are really saying is, "I am uncomfortable with you challenging the status quo and disrupting my privilege".
Time and again, there is one phrase that keeps coming up in the social media discourse on feminism. Any guesses?
Ah, no prizes for guessing the infamous “itni bhi feminist” or “too much feminism” phrase, a classic eye-roller for me, and I am sure for many more of my tribe, in the realm of gender equality discussions.
Pray tell me, how can an ideology, a movement be too ‘much’? It’s not salt or the seasoning of your soup where you can go, “Oops, too much salt, only one spoon was required”. Either you stand for what feminism stands for, or you don’t.
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