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Dear Survivor, How Often You Must Have Thought ‘Could I Have Prevented This Abuse?!’

Posted: December 25, 2020

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No matter how many times people force you to blame yourself, don’t ever give in. It wasn’t their battle and they weren’t the ones struggling to come up, so it’s not the people who have a say in this.

Dear Survivor,

We are often judged for not being wise and are expected to know all, compelling us to question ourselves; ‘Why didn’t I know this was imminent?’ or ‘Could I have acted in a better way to stop it from happening?’

The self-doubt and guilt seem to be never-ending.

But this is where your inner strength activates to test you at first. You’d feel every emotion as intensely as one would. And then, everything would seem to tone down and you’d see yourself in a different light; the bright light of a fighter. They say life is a battlefield and yes, you have just won a battle. I wish I could show you how strong you are.

No matter how many times people force you to blame yourself, don’t ever give in. It wasn’t their battle and they weren’t the ones struggling to come up, so it’s not the people who have a say in this. It is you. You know better. You know how long to grieve and when to let go and move forward with your head held high.

Let’s just take our time to feel whatever we want to, and realize our worth. Let’s just not force the healing and wait patiently for good days to unfold.

The day you look at your reflection in the mirror and feel proud instead of sorry, would be the beginning of a new phase. You’ll be an inspiration and not just a survivor.

So, join the world, when you are ready!

A survivor of gender based trauma is affected in ways that go deep, and their worldview can get permanently damaged. It can be really crippling in their day to day life – whether in the personal or public sphere, and sending some comfort their way can help.

We at Women’s Web are collaborating with the Saahas App for Survivors of Gender Violence to reach out to women who need to be heard, and healing, as survivors of gender based violence. Letters to the survivor from our authors will be published on Women’s Web in the coming 10 days, and also on the Saahas website, in a series called “Dear Survivor”.

If you would like to participate, please upload your letter on your Women’s Web dashboard, and if chosen, it will be published.

Image source: pixabay

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