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Believe in yourself through the excruciating pain of leaving behind a place that no longer deserves you, along with your worthy love and sacrifice.
In a world where we are struck by a pandemic, multiple catastrophes and continuous strife, I want to take a moment and celebrate you for the courage, strength and grit that you’ve shown in face of adversities.
The scars that you have carried on your body and on your heart, behind the closed doors of the home where you deserved to be loved and honored are a testimony of your endless perseverance, something that makes you a chosen one, the one who isn’t defeated, who isn’t afraid, the one who did not give up on herself, no matter what.
Just like the vast blue sea that washes away everything that is thrown into it, yet always remains magnanimous and pristine, every act of injustice and malice against you, by people who were blinded by evil actions and intent only makes you more invincible.
I want to tell you that your strength will not go wasted, no matter how impossible it might seem to be, you will do just fine once you make up your mind to walk away from that relationship that tortured, belittled and gaslighted you.
You need to believe in yourself through the excruciating pain of leaving behind a place that no longer deserves you along with your worthy love and sacrifice.
You need to stay strong and move on. Those prying people will call you by names, your own loved ones may not even give you the support that you need, you might be financially, physically and mentally exhausted, yet trust me, in your darkest moments, in the rock bottom of your disappointment, pain and sorrow, the universe will help you find a path that will help you grow into a person you deserve to be.
In the words of Rabindranath Tagore, “Ekla Cholo Re – If no one answers your call, then walk alone, (be not afraid) walk alone my friend.”
You will figure out, you will find people who are willing to love and support you eventually, just like the seed that lies buried in the soil through the droughts and heavy rains, when the time is right, if you keep believing in your journey, you will sprout into a plant which grows tall through the seasons.
With time, braving the fiercest winters and hottest summers, you will become a lush tree who will give strength and shade to other seeds who aspire to grow in tough conditions.
You will then no longer be just the divorcee who walked out of the husband’s house or the single mother who chose to raise her child away from a disrespectful household or the woman who decided that she’s had enough, you will become the woman who stood tall against injustice, who chose to rebuild her life, who became a role model as a valiant, independent, determined, self-made woman.
Most importantly, you will serve as a shining example for little girls that it isn’t okay to be abused, and that it’s important to walk away and fight back, no matter what.
Your story will be a source of light to women who cry their eyes out, soaking their pillows with muffled sobs in the darkness of the night, when the rest of the house sleeps peacefully.
Your courage will empower women to stop that hand when it is raised for a slap and to quieten that voice filled with demeaning words. You will remind women and men of the goddesses that they worship.
I hope you choose to love yourself in the process as well, where you realize that nobody in the whole wide has the right to define your self-worth with their selfish, unkind actions and words. I hope you choose to believe that you are always loved, no matter what, at least by this random stranger who is writing you this letter.
The healing will take time, please give yourself all the time to heal. Just the way the wall of your uterus sheds itself in your period only to get replenished again, just as the moon vanishes into the night sky only to become full and whole, you will heal with time.
The wounds will dry, the scars will heal, the storm will pass only to be followed through a calm that will help you lead the life that you’ve always dreamt of.
You just need to keep believing in yourself, no one can do that for you. In this precious life that you’ve got, I hope you discover the greatest miracle, the power of belief and love in you. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, don’t give a damn to what people say or think, choose the course of your life and don’t be afraid to be happy or loved again.
You’ve got this, trust me. You have survived enough, I am sure that if you give yourself that loving chance, you will show the world, what it feels to not just merely survive but to truly thrive.
All my love to you!
Your sister in strength and hope,
A survivor of gender based trauma is affected in ways that go deep, and their worldview can get permanently damaged. It can be really crippling in their day to day life – whether in the personal or public sphere, and sending some comfort their way can help.
We at Women’s Web are collaborating with the Saahas App for Survivors of Gender Violence to reach out to women who need to be heard, and healing, as survivors of gender based violence. Letters to the survivor from our authors will be published on Women’s Web in the coming 10 days, and also on the Saahas website, in a series called “Dear Survivor”.
If you would like to participate, please upload your letter on your Women’s Web dashboard, and if chosen, it will be published.
Image source: a still from the film Bhaag Milka Bhaag
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