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The argument that men rape because they are 'denied' sex, comes up repeatedly, even when it has been proved to be false.
The argument that men rape because they are ‘denied’ sex, comes up repeatedly, even when it has been proved to be false.
Sex is a natural urge in men. It is sometimes said that after food, the next requirement is sex.In a conservative society like India, one can ordinarily have sex only through marriage. But when there is massive and rising unemployment, a large number of young men cannot marry (as no girl will ordinarily marry an unemployed man). Consequently a large number of young men remain deprived of sex, even though they have reached an age when it is a normal requirement.So says Markandey Katju, an ex Supreme Court Justice of India, in a Facebook post talking of the recent brutal rape and murder of a young woman in Hathras, in the state of Uttar Pradesh.
While he hastens to add that he is not excusing the crime, only explaining it, reading it made me long for a Justice of the honourable court who could pass a law that excises this regressive and completely false notion in the minds of men as well as women.
Yes, sex is a natural urge, not just in men, but also in women. Yet, we don’t see women committing horrific rapes (or if they do, they are very rare, and rarely explained as a result of their being ‘deprived of sex’).
So no, rape is not an outcome of sex being unavailable to anyone.
Yes, we all need better sex education, and the linking of sex to marriage and the controlling of young peoples’ sexual desires by parents are all problems in India. None of these excuse or explain rape.
Rape is about power. Rape is about what you can get away with. Rape is about caste, because the reality is that women from marginalised castes have the least amount of power and therefore, protection.
In a country where FIRs are filed as a matter of routine and where police investigate crimes promptly, ‘denied’ sexual desire may result in more time spent wanking in the bathroom, but not in rape.
In a country where trials happen within a reasonable amount of time, where evidence is collected and processed carefully, most potential rapists would be deterred for fear of spending time in jail, libido high or low be damned.
In a country where caste does not exist and in societies where people are not graded on a social ladder based on their assets and social ‘class’, a rapist in the making would be afraid that his victim is considered equally valuable by everyone else in the community, and that her death will galvanise everyone into action.
That country is not ours.
Founder & Chief Editor of Women's Web, Aparna believes in the power of ideas and conversations to create change. She has been writing since she was ten. In another life, she used to be read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
It is shameful that in today's world too, women are abused and even killed for giving birth to a girl, and the infant's life is also of no value.
Trigger Warning: This deals with domestic violence, suicide, and violence against women, and may be triggering to survivors.
I am so glad that the esteemed courts are now giving the much-required verdicts regarding certain ideologies that were not at all entertained earlier. I mean we all have studied this much biology at our school level and it is our duty (our generation) to educate our elders about it.
Why someone have to lose a life to bring such awareness to the society. Delhi High Court gave this judgement concerning a case that filed by the deceased daughter’s parents against her in-laws. She committed suicide as she was harassed and tortured for dowry and giving birth to two daughters.
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