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Why does the empty nest affect mothers disproportionately? Is it because we have left our own selves behind while pleasing others?
The term ‘ The empty nest’ refers to the emptiness which follows mothers once their children are out of the home.
However, I sometimes think whether the emptiness after the children have left affects women more; or is the reality that they have sacrificed everything in the name of taking care of family and children and are now left empty handed with nothing more to look forward to, which is killing them more?
A lot of women are very passionate about whatever we do, whether it is getting married, settling into a role of wife and mother or giving up your career without regrets in the name of family. We do everything that makes those around us happy and forget what we actually wanted to do.
I am the same. I wanted to roam around the world like a hippie, visiting places I had never been to, joining an NGO or shop or sleep or just sit idle and care a damn about anything. But what am I doing? Taking care of home and kids, leaving everything I wanted to do deep inside. It does not mean I have regrets. But it does mean I have emptiness somewhere in my heart due to letting go of things and making choices which the society deems fit to approve.
In addition to this, it increases our misery when we see that we do not get enough credit from our spouses for making all these sacrifices. Talking about our male counterparts, their lives remain less affected by all these changes as they are already used to spending a majority of their time outside the home.
When the children leave home, it is then that we look forward to spending more time more with our husbands and expect them to understand our situation and help us to cope. Yet here, we fail miserably as then we will be tagged as emotionally weak and not strong enough.
So here I am suggesting to all women out there that for once in your life, keep yourself as a priority and do what you want to do. Travel solo if you wish, do things which you feel like doing and if your spouse does not approve, then don’t care for his opinion. Try to make him understand but if he does not, follow your heart.
I am sure the world will not turn upside down if you are not at home and doing your usual work. It is not always your responsibility to keep things running at proper speed. Let it go and make time for things you like to do.
For once, don’t care for anyone’s opinion and believe me, the satisfaction you get will be more than everything else.
Remember we are not Sita, we are even stronger women who can withstand the test of the times without seeking anyone’s approval.
Keep your spirits high, make yourself financially independent, do not seek approval. Keep yourself happy and enjoy your own company!
Top image is from the Hindi serial Anupamaa
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
It is shameful that in today's world too, women are abused and even killed for giving birth to a girl, and the infant's life is also of no value.
Trigger Warning: This deals with domestic violence, suicide, and violence against women, and may be triggering to survivors.
I am so glad that the esteemed courts are now giving the much-required verdicts regarding certain ideologies that were not at all entertained earlier. I mean we all have studied this much biology at our school level and it is our duty (our generation) to educate our elders about it.
Why someone have to lose a life to bring such awareness to the society. Delhi High Court gave this judgement concerning a case that filed by the deceased daughter’s parents against her in-laws. She committed suicide as she was harassed and tortured for dowry and giving birth to two daughters.
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