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The title itself says a lot. What do you think? Is this true? Especially for middle class women in India? I’d like to know.
I got married when I was 22.5 years old. I really didn’t have enough maturity at that point to handle a married relationship. I always wanted a person who would care for me love me, understand my needs, and of course like every other woman I know, I love surprises.
It’s been 7 years since we got married. My husband is 6 years elder to me. He has seen a lot more of life as he has been to 6 different countries before we got married.
We had different goals. I wanted to shop, he wanted to save… his perspective was totally different.
A few things which could have been solved with some basic communication didn’t happen, because he wanted me to understand his side, and I wanted him to understand my side… by default. Because it was expected in a married relationship, apparently. (telepathy, anyone?!)
Life becomes so mechanical sometimes. But then if your life is not mechanical, routine, you are not in the right path.
We’ve had several issues, several big fights. We stay under the same roof, but never speak most of the days. It’s like… “deal with this on your own” kind of shit.
Slowly we started missing being close, missing a husband wife bond. Just going on with – get up, cook, pack your box, leave… come back and sleep.
Every time I feel bad about my life, I always think that there are worse situations people face out there, and for that time, I feel a bit better.
I wanted to convey to my husband: Talk to me. Let’s eat together. Let’s go out for dinner at least once a month. Let’s go for a small vacation at least for 2 days once in 6 months.
I could never tell him. And whenever I tried, it led into some other discussion. So, I kind of left everything as it is. Like right now I’m living with zero expectations from him. Some day, even if he says, Sravya I love you, or really talks with me, it makes me feel happy.
I wish there really is something like telepathy, and that he could understand what is going on in my mind. Because I really don’t wanna get into another discussion with him which will increase the distance between us.
I really want to know what is in his mind. Maybe even he has his set of goals to be achieved.
I feel that once you get married, you buy a car / buy a house / have a baby… and then the rest of life is just pay all the loans, take care of others. This is what happens in every middle class life. I see my parents who’ve led the same life, and then repenting that they should have traveled when younger.
I really wish people understand the importance of communication, and the feelings of a person, and act accordingly.
Image source: a still from the film Lunchbox
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