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There are different fasts and rituals for the welfare of our sons or husbands, but there is not even a single fast for the well being of the wife or the daughter. Why?
Fasting is not an obligation, but a moral and spiritual act where the aim is to purify the body and mind and acquire divine grace. Worldly indulgences do not allow us to concentrate on spiritual attainment. Therefore a worshipper must strive to impose restraints on themselves to get their mind focused.
Fasting is a kind of restraint. In a way it nourishes both physical and spiritual demands. Fasting helps us establish a harmonious relationship between the body and the soul.
Fasting during festivals like Navratri, Janmasthami, Shivratri is quite common. Then certain days of the week are also marked for fasting, depending on individual choice and on one’s favourite god or goddess. On Saturday, people fast to appease the god of that day, Shani or Saturn. Some fast on Tuesdays, the auspicious day for Hanuman. Some fast on Mondays, to please Lord Shiva. Then there are Purnima (full moon) and Ekadasi (the 11th day of the fortnight) fasts.
And there comes a whole genre of fasting to please god for the well being of men… These men can fall into several categories – husband, husband to be, son, unborn son…
It calls to mind so many questions. ~ Why is that only women fast in Indian society? ~ Why is it prescribed that women – be it the mother, the wife, the wife to be fasts for the health and life of her son, or husband or husband to be? ~ Why is it that it has been preached by our religion, by our customs, through folklore, that it’s women who have to strive?
One such overhyped (thanks to Bollywood) festival is Karva Chauth, mostly followed by women of Northern part of India where married women fast the entire day for the longevity of his men.
Another fast for husband is the Vat Savitri Puja which is mainly observed in Bihar, Uttar Pradesh, Delhi, Orissa and Maharashtra.
Pua Jiuntia is a well known festival in Western Odisha, where mothers fast to invoke the grace of Lord ‘Dutibahana’ for the long life and prosperity of their sons.
The Chathh Pooja where the mother or the elder woman of the family fasts and performs elaborate fasting, pooja etc for the welfare of the family.
Oh wait! how can I forget the Solah Somwar Vrat, fasting for 16 Mondays in a row to appease Lord Shiva so as to get a good husband?
Why do different regions of our country prescribe different fasts and rituals for the welfare of our sons or husbands, but there is not even a single fast for the well being of the wife or the daughter?!
Why does the woman have to be ‘pious’ for the betterment of the family ?
Love needs to be reciprocated. Have you ever asked or expected your husband to reciprocate your gesture?
To all the men out there reading the post, have you ever fasted for your woman?
Fasting provides an opportunity for the privileged to give food-grains to the less privileged and alleviate their distress, at least for the moment.
Let me know what do you think about it?
First published here.
Image source: shutterstock
Freethinker,Experimentalist, 1 Part Entrepreneur ,2 Parts Blogger ,3 Parts photographer ,4 Parts poetess, Too many Parts. A free-spirited,non-conformist,independent,adventurous,boho soul and an admirer of life.Loves my Indian roots, read more...
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My house-help asked excitedly, “I am going for wedding. Can you let me wear your red & black saree? To be honest I was stumped for a moment; I didn’t know what to say but I still said yes.
I lent a gorgeous saree to my house-help for a wedding in her family. Soon I stated getting questions if I would wear that saree again or if I was okay to be seen wearing the same saree my house-help was wearing?
We are all so conditioned to give our used clothes to our house-helps but are we okay to wear the clothes they were wearing?
A few days ago she came excitedly to me, “I am going for a family wedding. I want to wear your red & black saree, Ill wash and give it to you after the function. Please can you let me wear it?”
Beauty is a very clever, very evil capitalist tool. It traps those who have it into hanging on to it for dear life and those who don't into mutilating, torturing themselves to achieve the unachievable.
I recently wrote a piece about MP Shashi Tharoor’s tweet in which he had shared a pic with six women parliamentarians tagging them and saying “Who says the Lok Sabha isn’t an attractive place to work?”
There was a rash of comments on the post shared on Instagram, which ranged from “chill, it’s just a compliment” and “stop overthinking compliments”, to (worried) men lamenting about “these feminazi”.
Here’s my answer to all those comments.
While some women celebrate Karwa Chauth of their own volition, others are forced into it. In either case, is the basis of the Karwa Chauth tradition regressive?
Karwa Chauth is a festival in which married women fast from sunrise to moonrise for the safety and longevity of their husbands. They starve for the whole day so that their husbands will live a long life. I believe that it is absolutely sexist, misogynistic and regressive. I had decided since forever that I would never succumb to the so-called Indian version of Valentine’s Day which is nothing but the mirroring of a dystopian mindset and totally gender biased.
India is a country where many of us follow what our parents have been doing, unaware of the reasons why are they doing what they are doing. To me, fasting of any kind, whether it is starving for God, for oneself or for anyone else proves nothing and doesn’t make any logical sense. I don’t have the tiniest clue as to how we can relate women starving to the life expectancy of their husbands. Is there some super secret science that I’m unaware of?
Karva Chauth. A 'nirjal' (without any food or water) fast to be kept by women for the long life of the husband, which women have been observing for ages, and will probably continue to follow. How fair is it?
Karva Chauth. A ‘nirjal’ (without any food or water) fast to be kept by women for the long life of the husband, which women have been observing for ages, and will probably continue to follow. How fair is it?
Translated from the original in Hindi.
Karva Chauth… is a festival that falls on Teej Bhedi Chauth every year after Sharad Purnima under Hindu religion. Newly married brides and married women ‘celebrate’ this day as a festival. A ‘nirjal’ (without food and water) fast to be kept for the long life of husband.