There are the little moments when patriarchy silently smiles and watches you fade away. Watches equality fade away. It is just as haunting and painful.
You’d think that I am mad, or maybe I’ve lost it, but it is true: “Equality does not mean equality.” In cities, they might send both boys and girls to school, educate them, give them the same amount of milk; they buy both of them hundreds of outfits and the mom says she loves her children equally, equality doesn’t persist.
It is a funny thing, this equality, and saying that women in urban areas have it better. But really, they don’t. I realised it only when I turned 18, even though I’ve been experiencing it for ages now. And I like to term it as ‘silent discrimination’ or ‘urban decay.’ It is something that stings harder than a bee, because it hurts you on the inside.
Let us, for example, assume that you are cleaning the house today because your mother asked you to. You ask your mother what your brother is going to do. She says nothing.
So you say he should be given some task as well because she has a lot of work. She outright refuses, says that this work isn’t for men, and goes on to say that if you don’t want to help her, it is fine.
You see, in the above example, you find yourself caught in an ugly position. If you try to make your mother understand, she would start doing the work herself and you’ll feel bad for her. But if you don’t correct her thinking and continue to do the given work, then she would assume that her thinking is not wrong.
These are the little moments when patriarchy silently smiles and watches you fade away. Watches equality fade away. This is how inequality and discrimination against women dwells in the cities, the urban area. It is just as haunting.
Over the years I’ve tried really hard to improve this situation, at least in my own family. But patriarchal mind set is embroidered on their souls, however modern they believe they are.
In a few moments like these, I was left thinking, of the unborn female child. The one they murdered in the womb itself. Kill her once or murder her every day? I am left unanswered.
Picture credits: Still from Bollywood movie English Vinglish
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