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“Acceptance is the key to success. Accept and love what you have and make the most of it.” What does this really mean to us?
As a Life Coach, having wondered about self -acceptance and its relation to success, I wonder how many of us love ourselves and truly love and accept ourselves the way we are. Most of us, when faced with this question give an immediate reply, ‘‘I love myself. Why wouldn’t I do that? I’m my favorite person.”
Before you jump to any conclusions, I’d like to ask again and this time, I want you to think long and hard before you answer. I want you to think about all the other things or people that you love in life; think about what you do to preserve, save and cherish those people/things; think about the extra mile you go to make someone you love, happy; think about the sacrifices you make to see a smile on the face of your loved ones; I want you to think about the person you love the most, your favorite dress, your favorite book, your pet and then when you have given all this a deep thought, answer the question – do you truly love and accept yourself the way you are?
As a Motivational & Life-Skills Coach, I come across a lot of women during my sessions who were trying to find meaning in life. I’m not talking about young, 20 something girls, but I’m talking about successful career women, homemakers and entrepreneurs who are doing things because they have to and not because they want to.
There is a big difference in doing something that you have to do and something that you want to do. Many of us get so lost in our struggles and comforts through life that we forget why we started doing a particular thing. And it’s not just about a job or a business; this holds true for our relationships, every day tasks and even simple conversations.
Every day when you wake up, what is the first thought that comes to your mind? Do you feel grateful for a new day, do you feel like dancing because you are joyous or do you wake up thinking about the tasks that you have to do – make breakfast for the family, finish laundry, send kids to school, rush to your work, meet deadlines, attend meetings, organize dinner and a whole list of other chores that you have to complete on that day.
How much time do you spend with yourself in a day? When I say spending time with yourself, I mean doing something that you really want to do for yourself, something that brings a smile to your face, makes you happy. And yes, it could be at the expense of postponing your other tasks. How often are you doing it? Or are you putting everyone else’s needs first.
I’m not asking you to be selfish here, or am I? If your husband is trying to get a promotion for a prestigious project, do you not ask him to think about his career? If your children are competing in a game or a race, are you not motivating them to practice hard and concentrate on their own game?
When you advice your loved ones to keep their interests in mind and work towards them, why do you forget that the same rule applies to your own interests, likes and dislikes too?
There is a very thin line between taking care of yourself and being selfish. Loving and taking care of yourself does not mean that you have to hurt other people, whereas a selfish person almost always ends up hurting someone.
If you love and accept yourself the way you are, you will never try to ‘fit in’. You are unique, one of its kind. There is no other person in the universe like you. So why would you want to look or behave like someone else? Why do you strive to be a copy of someone when you are the original piece? And this also includes trying to look good, wearing make-up and changing your appearance just to suit other’s criteria.
It doesn’t matter whether you are overweight, have a few white strands of hair, or your nails are not manicured or you are not carrying a designer bag. You are you and no one can take your place in this universe. You are here for a purpose. You are a divine soul in a human body. You are pure love and compassion. You are abundance, success and prosperity.
Be yourself, accept yourself and love yourself – because if you can’t accept yourself the way you are, how can you expect other people to do that?
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