Over the years, your support has made Women’s Web the leading resource for women in India. Now, it is our turn to ask, how can we make this even more useful for you? Please take our short 5 minute questionnaire – your feedback is important to us!
The lockdown is forcing everyone to stay in their homes and while tinged with the some anxiety, talking to partners and or even plants is helpful.
In the first week of my self isolation, I was concerned about not being able to go out, buy plants, and about my year’s travel plans turning into a lump. I was worried about the crashing economy, job market being affected. And I worried about not having enough food in the house, I was obsessed with washing my hands more than necessary.
There are a number of memes being circulated about how everyone will put on weight by the time the lockdown ends. And some more about how women will come out with unwanted hair growth all over their faces and about hairstyles gone wild.
I, too, was worried about it. And I began eating less than my usual portion. But, now, after more than two weeks of self isolation, I am just worried about coming out of it with mental stability. I am concerned about my emotional and mental wellbeing.
How to keep yourself sane during this self-isolation?
Yesterday, I had a video conference call with five strangers to show support and solidarity in these tough times. I realised we all have different things to look forward to when all this is over.
The person who organised the call is doing so to give herself an anchor in these turbulent times. Connecting people and helping them is keeping her sane.
There was this another young girl whose college final year was over within a night. The college authorities made an announcement and next day the students were booking flights to come back home.
It reminded me of my college days. I was reminded of how we made use of every single moment- to spend time with our friends, to do things together. And it reminded me of how we tried to create as many memories as we could. I realised how, for this young girl, the best days of her life came to an abrupt end.
There was a writer on the call as well. She stayed alone and wrote and read to keep herself happy. And there was another woman, looking forward to meet her lover when all this was over.
We need to ask things and ask FOR things too
After the call, I asked my husband if he was happy and if he was doing fine. Sometimes, we forget to ask our own families how they’re doing, we assume that they’re all well. But that necessarily isn’t true. And so, I asked him.
He looked at me and told me that he wasn’t happy and we hugged for a few minutes. The hug, felt really good. Sometimes, we share a thousand things and yet hesitate to seek help when we need it.
I find it difficult to ask for help. Being the kind of person that I am, I just assume that the person should know what I want. But, that’s just absurd. This self isolation taught me to extend my hand to seek help. It is so easy to ask. And, there are so many people willing to help us.
Sometimes we bottle up our feelings assuming we can deal with it. My husband is like that. He will tell me million things. But rarely, does he tell me what is bothering him. He worries for both of us. So, I told him that’s not necessary. I told him to open up and share and tell me whenever he needed a hug. Sometimes it is easier to deal with things when we share them.
This self isolation has also taught me to create a home where you can be positive and happy. We dream of escaping our lives and go on vacations, but at time like this when you can’t go outside, your home is your ultimate heaven. Why don’t we aim to make it warm and peaceful?
I have started loving my home more
I have this new found love and gratitude for my home. Every morning, the sun peeks into my bedroom and wakes me up, I love that. I love how my apartment becomes roomy and airy when I open all the windows.
During the day, some times, I hear music coming from somewhere and that soothes me. Sometimes I sit by my bedroom window and look at the three kids who live downstairs. They have a backyard garden and they spend every minute outside. I feel so thankful for their shrieks and laughter. Watching them rolling in the grass and basking in the warm spring sun makes me happy.
Yesterday, I waved at them and they waved back. When this is all over I am planning to play with them in the garden. And I am planning to connect with as many people as I can, to celebrate the fact that we were in this together. When this is all over, I am planning to start over.
Nature is flourishing too
I am also loving the late sunsets these days. They look like a concoction of our collective emotions. Dreams of healing. Hopes of a better tomorrow. Desperation of a life without restrictions. Its colours remind me of our varied moods and desires.
I am spending more time with my plants, talking and tending to them. A few of them are pushing out new leaves. The tree in front of my building is in full bloom with pale white flowers. And the flower seeds I planted three weeks ago in the porch have started to shoot out tiny little plants.
The birds are chirping away without a care in the world. I saw a bee, the other day, trying to come in through the window. Its humming sound and bee dance brought in a little bit of nature in our home.
And, perhaps our human breath and conversations gave it a solace that we are still here, just a little isolated and still. When entire mankind is forced into a stillness, nature is still flourishing. And, we are learning to lean into each other to heal.
Picture credits: Pexels
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views. Individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times. If you have a complementary or differing point of view, sign up and start sharing your views too!
A woman who believes in lifting up other women. Runs on coffee, poetry, long walks, and tiramisu. Loves stand-up comedy, rerunning Friends, and making travel plans. Every year's one fix resolution is to read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
Paromita advises all women to become financially independent, keep levelling up and have realistic expectations from life and relationships.
Heartfelt, emotional, and imaginative, Paromita Bardoloi’s use of language is fluid and so dreamlike sometimes that some of her posts border on the narration of a fable.
Her words have the power to touch the reader while also delivering some hard hitting truths. Paromita has no pretences in her writing and uses simple words which convey a wealth of meaning in the tradition of oral storytellers – no wonder, Paro is a much loved author on Women’s Web.
This June we celebrate twelve years of Women’s Web, a community built by you – our readers and contributors.
I watched a Tamil movie Kadaisi Vivasayi (The Last Farmer), recommended by my dad, on SonlyLiv, and many times over again since my first watch. If not for him, I’d have had no idea what I would have missed. What a piece of relevant and much needed art this movie is!
It is about an old farmer in a village (the only indigenous farmer left), who walks the path of trouble, quite unexpectedly, and tries to come out of it. I have tried my best to refrain from leaving spoilers, for I want the readers to certainly catch up on this masterpiece of director Manikandan (of Kakka Muttai fame).
The movie revolves around the farmer who goes about doing his everyday chores, sweeping his mud-house first thing in the morning, grazing the cows, etc and living a simple but contented life. He is happy doing his thing, until he invites trouble for himself out of the blue, primarily because he is illiterate and ignorant.