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Each Time Life Knocks Me Down, I Fight Back, For I Am A Warrior!

Posted: March 20, 2020

I am lazy, short-tempered, ugly, moody, bitter, jealous, greedy, sincere, honest, and emotional. And a lot of other things too. But I am not them.

A few weeks ago, I came across an old photograph of mine. Basically, a passport size photo I retrieved from the farthest corner of my purse. A chubby teenager with bushy eyebrows and oil shoulder-length hair stared back at me.

The first thought that struck me on seeing my old photo was one of relief. Thank God, I no longer look like the ugly duckling in the photograph. Sure, I ain’t a beautiful swan but at least I look presentable now.

Was I the same child?

Pleased with that thought, I peered down closely at my former self. A lump formed in my throat as I thought about the girl I left behind forever. In a time that I can never go back to.

As I pondered over it, I couldn’t help but notice the other changes that the teenager in the photo underwent as she transitioned into a woman. A barrage of questions raised their head at me.

Am I still that innocent girl who trusted people blindly and thought evil existed only in books and movies? No! I now know that evil lurks everywhere and people are not to be trusted easily. But I also believe that the world would have come to an end if goodness had ceased to exist.

Am I still that girl who dreamed that the world was within her grasp? No! It’s just that the dreams have changed. I still dream but they no longer contain only myself. Now, I dream for my kids and my family.

Am I still that girl who has hitherto been untouched by grief and loss? The answer to this question is a big NO! Life has shown me things that I never expected to see. And caused me pain that still lingers and refuses to go away.

My life has changed and hurt me too but…

It has changed the course of my life in such a manner which is beyond my wildest dreams or imaginations. I have cried into my pillows, in front of my family, well-wishers and also in front of God. Never in my life have I felt so enraged or helpless. I have vented out my anger and frustration on anyone and everyone. And cursed my fate, raved and ranted at the unfairness of it all.

But in the end, I have accepted life with all its terms and conditions. And in doing so, I have not only emerged stronger but victorious too.

So, if you ask me, who am I?

I would say I am lazy, short-tempered, ugly, moody, bitter, jealous, greedy, sincere, honest, and emotional. And a lot of other things that are an integral part of my personality. But I am not them.

I am a warrior! That’s who I am.

Each time life knocks me down, I wail loudly and then stand up on shaking legs. Every time, life throws a cruel blow at me, I make sure to punch back at it with equal grit and determination.

Because grieved and hurt I maybe, I am not a coward. I won’t leave the battlefield without fighting till my last breath.

That’s a promise I made to myself. A promise I live by every day.

I no longer fear life. In face, I love life. Because deep down I know that I will be given only what I can handle.

A fighter and a believer! Unapologetically, unabashedly, remorseless ME!

Picture credits: Still from Bollywood movie NH 10

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