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I am lazy, short-tempered, ugly, moody, bitter, jealous, greedy, sincere, honest, and emotional. And a lot of other things too. But I am not them.
A few weeks ago, I came across an old photograph of mine. Basically, a passport size photo I retrieved from the farthest corner of my purse. A chubby teenager with bushy eyebrows and oil shoulder-length hair stared back at me.
The first thought that struck me on seeing my old photo was one of relief. Thank God, I no longer look like the ugly duckling in the photograph. Sure, I ain’t a beautiful swan but at least I look presentable now.
Pleased with that thought, I peered down closely at my former self. A lump formed in my throat as I thought about the girl I left behind forever. In a time that I can never go back to.
As I pondered over it, I couldn’t help but notice the other changes that the teenager in the photo underwent as she transitioned into a woman. A barrage of questions raised their head at me.
Am I still that innocent girl who trusted people blindly and thought evil existed only in books and movies? No! I now know that evil lurks everywhere and people are not to be trusted easily. But I also believe that the world would have come to an end if goodness had ceased to exist.
Am I still that girl who dreamed that the world was within her grasp? No! It’s just that the dreams have changed. I still dream but they no longer contain only myself. Now, I dream for my kids and my family.
Am I still that girl who has hitherto been untouched by grief and loss? The answer to this question is a big NO! Life has shown me things that I never expected to see. And caused me pain that still lingers and refuses to go away.
It has changed the course of my life in such a manner which is beyond my wildest dreams or imaginations. I have cried into my pillows, in front of my family, well-wishers and also in front of God. Never in my life have I felt so enraged or helpless. I have vented out my anger and frustration on anyone and everyone. And cursed my fate, raved and ranted at the unfairness of it all.
But in the end, I have accepted life with all its terms and conditions. And in doing so, I have not only emerged stronger but victorious too.
So, if you ask me, who am I?
I would say I am lazy, short-tempered, ugly, moody, bitter, jealous, greedy, sincere, honest, and emotional. And a lot of other things that are an integral part of my personality. But I am not them.
I am a warrior! That’s who I am.
Each time life knocks me down, I wail loudly and then stand up on shaking legs. Every time, life throws a cruel blow at me, I make sure to punch back at it with equal grit and determination.
Because grieved and hurt I maybe, I am not a coward. I won’t leave the battlefield without fighting till my last breath.
That’s a promise I made to myself. A promise I live by every day.
I no longer fear life. In face, I love life. Because deep down I know that I will be given only what I can handle.
A fighter and a believer! Unapologetically, unabashedly, remorseless ME!
Picture credits: Still from Bollywood movie NH 10
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Chetan Bhagat had no business slut shaming Uorfi Javed or any other woman. If he wants to 'guide' young men in the 'right direction' then he should take accountability for his words.
Chetan Bhagat, one of India’s bestselling authors, thought it was an ingenious idea to slut-shame Uorfi Javed, an Indian actress and influencer, at the Sahitya Aaj Tak literature festival.
“Phone has been a great distraction for the youth, especially the boys, spending hours just watching Instagram Reels. Everyone knows who Uorfi Javed is. What will you do with her photos? Is it coming in your exams or you will go for a job interview and tell the interviewer that you know all her outfits? On one side, there is a youth who is protecting our nation at Kargil and on another side, we have another youth who is seeing Uorfi Javed’s photos hiding in their blankets.”
Uorfi Javed responded with a video on her Instagram stories calling out Bhagat’s bluff. She shared the screenshots of his previous chat conversations with Ira Trivedi, author and yoga instructor, which came to light during the #MeToo movement.
While boys are taught to naturally own the space they enter, girls are taught to give up, to accommodate, to adjust since "it is their primary responsibility to keep families and relations together."
Yesterday, I was watching these 4 young girls around 16 – 17 years old play badminton. They were having fun, goofing around with all 4 of them equally involved in the game.
In some time two of their male friends joined them, and as part of round robin, the 2 boys replaced two of the girls. All good.
As the play continued, I started noticing a change in the way the game was being played. The shuttle was played most of the times between the two boys and there was a sense of competition and aggression brought in. The other 2 girls playing soon starting losing interest in the game as they hardly got any game time. Even if the shuttle came towards them, the boy in their team would move and play that shot. They soon moved to the sidelines as the boys continued to play.
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