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If we are married, we want equality in our marital homes. have we ever extended this equality to our mothers? Give it a thought!
I have a question for all those women who are today talking about gender equality or who say that “Oh, my husband is not helping me at home!”
Have you ever thought of helping your mothers at home? It’s very easy to blame others, including men, but the ladies out there who were once girls, have you ever thought about your mothers?
You feel nostalgic for the good old days when you have to work at your in-laws’ house. Right? But hasn’t your mom always worked for you? When you come back home after school or college or after having a tiring day at the office, you expect your mother to cook delicious food for you. Why? And the most obvious answer for this would be, “Oh because she is a mother.” But in my opinion, that’s the most stupid answer.
Have you ever tried to break this cycle? Have you ever tried asking your mother, “Mom, what were your dreams and aspirations when you were of my age?”
You expect your husband or your in-laws to understand your dreams or your hard work that you put in maintaining the house. Have you ever tried to understand your parents? It’s very easy to say, “Oh, my mother is a home maker” – because you have never given her wings or you have never thought about it.
Have you even once encouraged your mother to do what she likes or encouraged her to spend time on an activity apart from maintaining the house or preparing a good meal for you?
But no, it’s a cycle or it’s expected that my food will be prepared and ready once I am home. Why? Is this your mother’s duty? No, this is not her duty. Her duty is towards herself and not towards you – whether you are a girl or a boy.
Once you are a grown up and independent, you should not expect your mother or father to treat you like a kid. Who are you to give orders to your mother to prepare this food or that food, or to wash your clothes? Do you think she is a machine?
I don’t believe in the saying that mother is the best creation of God. No, because God created each individual equally. It’s us, the human beings, who have distinguished between them. Why on earth as an adult, do you expect something from your parents, be it food, money or anything else? If they are doing something for you, accept it with gratitude towards them, because, before they are your parents, they are individuals who have a responsibility towards themselves too.
I agree that there are few of us who think differently but again, the majority of us realise these things only once we are married and feel upset at the behaviour of our in-laws or husbands. Why not realise it today and break this cycle? Why not prepare a meal for your parents after coming home from college or work? Why be treated as a princess or a prince? Instead, be a warrior who can conquer this world!
Women who are married usually have understood the value of their parents, but younger girls or boys, and those who are single – please give it a thought and make your parents understand that before being your parents they are individuals too; they too have a responsibility towards themselves and not only towards you.
Image is a still from the Hindi movie English Vinglish
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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