If you want to understand how to become better allies to people with disabilities, then join us at Embracing All Abilities: Including People with Disabilities at Work.

Why Does The Definition Of A Good DIL Revolve Around Her Clothes?

Do you need to wear a particular type of clothes to be recognised as the bahu in a family? The author talks about her experience of living in such a family. 

Do you need to wear a particular type of clothes to be recognised as the ‘bahu’ in a family? The author talks about her experience of living in such a family. 

What women wear and how they wear it are the perennial concerns of people around them. Every one thinks that they have the right to have an opinion on women’s clothing. Most astonishingly, people from the same sex are often the fiercest critics of women.

As a girl from Assam, my parents never told me to dress in a particular way or manner. I was free to wear whatever I pleased. But things changed drastically after my marriage.

My rebellious phase

My in-laws had a totally different perception of a ‘bahu’ and they wanted me to dress and act accordingly. To my surprise the entire neighbourhood had the same perception about a daughter-in-law. And I used to see people whispering whenever they saw me in western wear or without a bindi.

I was never particularly obsessed with western wear, but the imposition made me rebellious. So I started wearing whatever they thought was inappropriate for a bahu. I used to love my golden overcoat with blue jeans. And throughout winter, I wore those without paying heed to the incessant comments my mom-in-law made. 

When I stopped rebelling

After 5 years of marriage, my husband finally got a transfer and we shifted to another city. Here I was free to wear whatever I wanted. During the first few months I experimented with my looks just to feel free from the confines of my in-laws.

But slowly I got bored since that was not what I wanted. Gradually, I started concentrating more on my writing career, instead of finding ways to rebel against my mother-in-law and her squad. Finally, I found my peace of mind.

I have seen and heard of many women who undergo the same dictatorship after their marriages. But what makes me feel aghast about the entire situation is that it is a woman who puts these laws on another. She probably was a victim once but, why can’t she let it go?

Never miss real stories from India's women.

Register Now

Why can’t she stop herself from being the very same monster that haunted her?

Picture credits: Pexels

Liked this post?

Register at Women's Web to get our weekly mailer and never miss out on our events, contests & best reads - you can also start sharing your own ideas and experiences with thousands of other women here!

Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views. Individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times. If you have a complementary or differing point of view, sign up and start sharing your views too!


About the Author

Jyotirupa Sarma

A free-spirited bohemian whose world revolves around books and blogging. read more...

3 Posts | 8,577 Views

Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!

Women Leaders in Communications Discuss The Responsible 5G Revolution We Need

All Categories