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Why do so many Indian men fail to understand Consent? Comedian Sanjay Rajoura presents a hilarious take on the Indian man’s idea of masculinity.
Comedian Sanjay Rajoura belongs to the group Aisi Taisi Democracy which includes comedians Varun Grover and musician Rahul Ram too. The group is known for its satirical commentary on Indian society and politics.
During a recent show by the group, Sanjay Rajoura presented a fantastic piece, titled ‘Indian Mard’ which in his typical way breaks down the stereotypical beliefs that many Indian men seem to hold.
He starts the piece by stating that ‘men are problematic but Indian Men are especially problematic’ and then moves to the correlation of alcohol with ‘Mardangi’ (masculinity). Rajoura highlights the fact that men relate alcohol with mardangi in a comical way.
“Maine sharab ke bottle pe dekha hai kitni percent alcohol hai, par kabhi ye nahi dekha ki kitne percent Mardangi hai”. (I have seen the percentage of alcohol written on liquor bottles but I have never seen the percentage of ‘manliness’ written on them), he says.
I personally don’t understand the reason why men relate alcohol with manliness. Why is drinking copious amounts of alcohol treated as an achievement? I have had guy friends who talk to each other like, “OMG you don’t drink why, tu ‘mard’ nahi ban na chahta kya? (Don’t you want to be a man)?
There have also been many cases when men abuse women and then excuse it citing that they were drunk and hence could not be expected to be ‘in control’. I mean, seriously?
Such men tend to blame what they do either on hormones, alcohol or women. It’s very easy for men to say “sorry I was drunk” or “she was asking for it”. On this flawed idea, Rajoura remarks that if someone hits your vehicle, you would not excuse them on account of their being drunk. Why should sexual harassment be treated any differently?
Rajoura also talks about the idea of romance and how, many men do not get the idea of consent when it comes to women. He talks about the classic ‘ladki ki na mein ha hoti hai’ (There is always a hidden yes in a girl’s no. He jokes, “consent hai ki pulse candy hai, andar kuch aur and bahar kuch aur?” (Is it consent or a pulse candy that it appears something else and is completely different on the inside?).
Exactly! I don’t understand what is the need to pursue it further once a girl says ‘no’. Remember the song from the movie Josh, ‘ye uska style hoenga hoton pe na dil mein ha hoenga’? ‘(This must be her style, no on her lips but yes in her heart). Ummm, like no, it doesn’t work like that. If she is saying no it means no, there is nothing else to it.
P.S. This punchline of Rajoura’s “consent hai ki pulse candy hai, andar kuch aur and bahar kuch aur?” has now become my response to everyone who says women mean yes when they say no.
Through this piece, Sanjay Rajoura has made us look at these stereotypical beliefs held by many men, and hopefully, will also lead more men to examine them.
Watch the video here:
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