Over the years, your support has made Women’s Web the leading resource for women in India. Now, it is our turn to ask, how can we make this even more useful for you? Please take our short 5 minute questionnaire – your feedback is important to us!
A video is going viral on social media, showing a group of young women confronting an older woman whom they allege, shamed them for wearing short dresses and said they deserved to be raped. However, much of the anger against her is also being expressed in the same slut-shaming language!
She wears short clothes, hangs out with male friends, roams out late in the night, drinks and smokes – obviously she’ll get raped because she is ‘asking for it’. Comments like these are very common in society. It’s very easy for the society to ‘slut shame’ and blames the victim for rape because, apparently, everything that a woman does or wears is to appease men.
A recent video that has gone viral shows a middle-aged woman being followed by a group of girls, who allege that she slut shamed them for wearing short clothes. Shivani Gupta who first shared the video on her Instagram profile wrote, “Today my friends and I were harassed by a woman at a restaurant for me wearing a short dress. This middle-aged woman you’ll see in the video addressed seven men at the restaurant to rape us because she felt we deserved it for wearing short clothes and bashing her unsolicited opinion.” (The video has since been taken down by Instagram).
Shivani alleges that the lady shamed one of them for wearing a short skirt. She alleges that the woman even asked the men in the restaurant to rape the girl as punishment for showing her ‘bare thighs’. The girls say that they then followed her to a shopping centre nearby where they started questioning women about her remarks and recording her response. In the midst of this, another woman also joined the conversation and said that as a mother, she supported the girls. She too questioned the lady about her remarks and asked her to apologize to the girls.
At the end, the lady is seen saying, “Hello, guys. These ladies want to wear short to short dresses to encourage all to see them. All these ladies wear short dresses or get naked to [get] raped.”
Soon after the video went viral with over thousands of shares the lady was being shamed all over on the social media. A photo of the woman wearing a dress has spread like wildfire on social media. Needless to say, the photo was taken from her profile without her consent. While her behaviour was in no way right, how is others behaving in this manner alright?
The lady is now being fat shamed and being sent threats – we know what she said is very wrong, but how is this tit for tat right when it takes the same approach of threatening women?
We all know that blaming a woman’s clothes for rape is something very common in our society. This woman is a mere specimen of our society; her statements only depict something that is very prevalent in this society. While we do not condone the video under any circumstances, it should be noted that this woman is just one representation of our warped society. She voiced the toxic, repressive mentality that a majority of Indian society already nurtures.
In the comments section of the video some commented on the woman’s body and fat-shamed her, some even posted rape threats. In essence, we ask: what is the difference between our mentality and her mentality?
This entire incident has again surfaced the question of why it is the victim who is always blamed.
It is easier to simply claim that a woman was wearing ‘provocative’ clothes or the fact that she was out late at night rather than to investigate why there is crime against women in our country. We need to understand that it’s not the clothes or the behaviour of a person that causes rape. Instead it’s the rapist who is to be blamed.
We need to understand that rape is not meant to be ‘sexualised’ – instead it is meant to be ‘criminalised’.
The video has already been watched a half a million times right now. People are calling the sexist woman out for her actions. The issue goes beyond the authenticity of a particular video or incident – what we can say for sure is that our society really needs to move beyond “victim blaming”.
Updated: According to ScoopWhoop, the woman has since then issued a public apology for her behaviour, calling it ‘harsh’ and ‘incorrect’.
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views. Individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times. If you have a complementary or differing point of view, sign up and start sharing your views too!
I read, I write, I dream and search for the silver lining in my life. Being a student of mass communication with literature and political science I love writing about things that bother me. Follow read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
He said that he needed sometime to himself. I waited for him as any other woman would have done, and I gave him his space, I didn't want to be the clingy one.
Trigger Warning: This deals with mental trauma and depression, and may be triggering for survivors.
I am someone who believes in honesty and trust, I trust people easily and I think most of the times this habit of mine turns into bane.
This is a story of how a matrimonial website service turned into a nightmare for me, already traumatized by the two relationships I’ve had. It’s a story for every woman who lives her life on the principles of honesty and trust.
And when she enters the bedroom, she sees her husband's towel lying on the bed, his underwear thrown about in their bathroom. She rolls her eyes, sighs and picks it up to put in the laundry bag.
Vasudha, age 28 – is an excellent dancer, writer, podcaster and a mandala artist. She is talented young woman, a go getter and wouldn’t bat an eyelid if she had to try anything new. She would go head on with it. Everyone knew Vasudha as this cheerful and pretty young lady.
Except when marriage changed everything she knew. Since she was always outdoors, whether for office or for travelling for her dance shows, Vasudha didn’t know how to cook well.
Going by her in-laws definition of cooking – she had to know how to cook any dishes they mentioned. Till then Vasudha didn’t know that learning to cook was similar to getting an educational qualification. As soon as she entered the household after her engagement, nobody was interested what she excelled at, everybody wanted to know – what dishes she knew how to cook.