You Can’t Change People & 5 Other Things I’ve Learnt Moving Into My 30s

As you move from your 20s to your 30s, are there things you've learnt about life? Here are 6 things Anushree Dash learnt about relationships, being a people-pleaser and grabbing opportunities.

As you move from your 20s to your 30s, are there things you’ve learnt about life? Here are 6 things Anushree Dash learnt about relationships, being a people-pleaser and grabbing opportunities.

That’s right…today, is finally my birthday and I’m 33! I am excited to be celebrating another trip around the sun. Yay…there’s something special to me about today. So why not celebrate it?

With every year that passes I totally embrace my age, always thinking that my new age is better than the previous one. It goes to show that change is something we should embrace. The things that we fear – including the fear of the unknown – can be what makes us happy when we look back.

So how excited am I? As you can see…very!

I don’t know if one’s 30s are really that different from your 20s but if they are, I’ll be telling you about it here.

Age really truly is just a number and I think society sets expectations for us to feel like we need to have something by a certain age or we should be something at this or that age – and I think that isn’t really fair or true. It isn’t fair to pressure ourselves to feel something by this age or that ‘this’ should be happening in my life; I truly believe that what’s meant to be will be and there is no time limit on the things you want to achieve.

I would say for where I am in my life, personally and professionally, I am exactly where I would want to be and have even exceeded my expectations for what I wanted to achieve by this age.

Since it’s my birthday, I figured that I would compile a short list of some of the most important things I’ve learned thus far.

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1. You never know

Don’t judge until you’ve walked in someone’s shoes. People assume they know everything about me because a lot of my life is documented through social media. They don’t. In fact, they don’t know 50% of my past or my life. I have had many bumps in the road. MANY. No one has seen my struggles and that’s ok with me but to judge without knowing isn’t logical. Life online looks flawless, blessed and glamorous. Don’t judge a book by its cover because you never know.

2. You can not change people

This is probably the hardest thing ever for me. For years I would try to control the outcome of family, friendships, work, etc. This year I’ve realized that ‘it is what it is’. My trying to control the situation and change people into something they’re not is counterproductive and f&@#ing pointless. It’s a waste of my breath. People are who they are. This year I’ve become more accepting…especially because you never know the whole story. People are set in their ways for their own reasons.

3. No one is going to do anything for you

If you want something to happen, get off your ass and make it happen. A godfather isn’t going to come create a dream career for you because you want it. Life is what you make of it. It’s not going to fall into your lap. If you want to be in a better relationship, work on yours or get out and say BYE. If you want to do good in the world, then do good. Opportunities don’t just fall from the sky, you gotta make it happen.

4. Worrying gets you nowhere

Worrying is pointless. Pointless. What’s the point of worrying? Whenever I start worrying about something I cannot control, I shift my focus. Life is going to flow how it flows.

5. You are going to get criticised no matter what you do, so do your thing

No matter where I’ve been in life, people have criticised me. If I had listened to every piece of negative feedback, I’d be like sitting in a dark room. We’ve all been criticised at one time or another. You gotta do what you gotta do and either way someone, somewhere will have something to say. If you don’t want to be criticised, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.

6. Start small but look for bigger opportunity

Doing things outside of your comfort zone is something I’ve written about before. It keeps you feeling alive. Even if it doesn’t work out quite as you’d hoped, you’re always the better person for it. Life should be about occasionally taking risks. Not necessarily crazy, stupid, death-defying ones, just steps of varying sizes towards an end goal.

That end goal? To enrich your life. To fill it with people you want to spend time with. To learn new skills. To help someone else achieve something. To see new places and have new experiences.



Obviously this is a list of things that I need to work on daily because I’m not perfect by any means and need daily reminders. Really, it just kind of helps to write these reminders down! I’m not preaching, just sharing…again, do what works for you!

Thank you so much for giving me the best birthday gift I could ask for – your love and support for me mean so much and I am forever grateful to share with you! Continue to take a journey with me and explore the amounts of Love available in the blessing called Life and sprinkle it with as much Laughter as possible…

All images inside the post belong to the author. Top image via Unsplash

First published here.

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About the Author

Anushree Dash

Gender Equality Advocate, TEDx Speaker, Social Reformer, Sociopreneur, Human Rights Activist, Pad woman of Odisha , Writer, Motivational Speaker, Art connoisseur... An impenitent, non-conformist, adventurous, boho soul and an admirer of life. Loves my Indian read more...

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