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I Am A Stay-At-Home Mother Who Is Fed Up Of Being Judged

Posted: February 11, 2019

Stay-At-Home mothers are forever judged for their choices and are looked at with disdain for not being ‘ambitious’. But, it is high time we stop judging these women and lift them up.

As a stay at home mom, the questions I most dread but have to tackle on a daily basis are:
What do you do all day?
How can you kill time sitting at home though you are so educated?

I have never answered those insensible questions. Does this society stereotype all stay at home women? Not all stay at home women watch soaps, shed buckets of tears on a saas-bahu serial or laugh at Netflix sit coms gossiping with neighbors the whole day. This hasty generalization misses the fact that stay-at-home work really hard.

I am a stay at home mother. An engineer, an ex employee of an MNC, an aspiring writer, an artist who dreams about entrepreneurship.

I have been a corporate employee for 7.5 years and a stay at home/ working woman for 5 years. As a stay at home woman, I always have a to-do list that consumes most part of my free time, making me stumble through an exhausted day without any recognition or appreciation that a professional environment fetches, and that is the most challenging task.

Why did I choose this?

If I have to talk about the reasons for choosing this option, I would say that it is probably the misalignment of career and parenting demands, and a few family emergencies that are very difficult to be worded. Now the reason for opting out of this corporate world is quite insignificant as I still have a burning passion, deep desire, wonderful dreams and the right spirit to achieve them.

But in general, the basic functional elements that influences the key factors in life aren’t same for everyone, thereby a few privileges in life changes too. So, all the successful and confident women should know that a stay at home woman also has wings that flutter to fly all the way in the beautiful sky across the meadows and the seven seas. She would love to meet new people, share a coffee break with friends and be appreciated for small achievements just like everyone else. Support her and guide her if you can. If you think she could do better, walk her through the options respectfully. Do not tag her as someone who has lost something substantial in life for choosing to opt out of the corporate race. Your comments can prejudice the success of someone who’s trying to hew out a path in the rock.

The choice that one makes, is entwined with the options available to them. Please be updated that life is a customized gift. Before you question a woman for wasting her education and not having a long term goal, understand that she might have chosen the option due to the circumstances and entirely not on her free will. When it is clear that people don’t get to choose some basic factors in life, it’s important that we don’t judge the other person with our life as a reference .

A millennial woman is defined by the attitude that drives her to become what she aspires to be. Her resilience to rise up to the challenges that she faces and the composure to maintain mental peace throughout her journey, needs recognition. Ambitions can differ. For some it can revolve around attaining financial stability, material things and for others it might be travel goals, family bond or even mastering the simple art of managing emotions and hormones. Priorities differ and situations differ. A strong woman braves through the obstacles to constantly outshine herself each and every day.

Appreciate and encourage a woman who works hard to achieve her goals without compromising the integrity or denigrating someone, irrespective of her work status. To stay at home in spite of the having a good market value for her skill set is a critical and difficult choice. It’s a choice she makes for her near and dear ones, willingly or unwillingly. A stay at home woman has a strong will and a beautiful heart to transform the jangling discords of the routine into a beautiful symphony within the available options and limited support system.

Coveted independence, a cooperative family, helping hands, suitable job, good manager, understanding people aren’t a part of everyone’s life. The lack of distraction from the daily shades of grey, the struggle for a sense of accomplishment are hardest on a woman and the most difficult ones to cope up. Urge her to dream, lend a helping hand and motivate her to achieve small goals. Let’s learn to live and let live rather than questioning and judging each other.

Image Source: Unsplash

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Freelance writer for hire. I am an engineer who loves to tell stories. I write

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