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Life changes irrevocably for a young mom, and so much of daily time gets assigned to taking care of the baby. But should we lose out on our ‘self’ in this?
I have been writing articles the last few months on my experiences of being a working mother, the confusion, the dilemmas, joys and frustrations, guilt which are all a part of the package deal. This time, I want to use this space to write about what does a day look like for me as a new mother, how it has also morphed into being a celebration of my womanhood and the narration is not as obvious as one might think.
Before having my son, my daily life was split into three major chunks- work chunk, home chunk and a hobbies chunk. Life was predictable, I knew that if I get tired working too hard or enjoying too hard, I have a cozy bed wanting to have me for the next 8 hours. I did appreciate life in this phase, but come Sunday evening there was this feeling of boredom and gloom waiting for the Monday morning rush.
This predictability all changed once my son came along. Now my life is more divided in thinner slices and I cherish certain moments of the day which I never thought would become so valuable.
No, I am not talking about the obvious cherish-able moments like my son talking or hugging me. I don’t want to undermine these moments that I share with him, which are priceless, but I also don’t want to forget a piece called ‘me’ in all this swirl of motherhood delight. I am learning to cherish those minuscule moments I get every day, just to focus on my body and mind and this narration is to celebrate those moments, which would have swept passed me if not for being a mother.
The most beautiful moment for me starts at the beginning of the weekend day when I wake to savour the taste of good Indian coffee. I look forward to this time where the whole house is fast asleep except my son and me who are wide awake. The hot cup of coffee, a serial playing on television (which I can actually watch undisturbed by elders!) and my son playing by himself in the background on the family room floor. I can’t begin to explain the sense of peace that accompanies this moment even though it is 6am in the morning.
Next comes meditation time for which I can only spare a few minutes, but it is so precious that I actually push away all distractions, this is just enough time in space to recharge my batteries.
On weekdays, it is hour long drive to work where I can’t do anything else, but drive. I never thought what a great opportunity this is for me to enjoy listening to music, podcasts and have a good laugh or cry without inhibitions.
The experience that makes me live and experience every second of my life and be completely aware of my body is when I am back from the gym, and I am off to bed knowing that my son is also fast asleep. The fact that my body by that point in time is screaming for some rest and I can actually give it that break is an irreplaceable feeling.
I never for one thought that these mundane things or grabbing opportunities here and there during the day just to be myself would be so enjoyable. I am happy to admit that I don’t sacrifice all my interests now so I can only focus on being a ‘mother type’ of person. I am proud to say that I am trying to find and enjoy woman-mother balance within my own life. The contentment of enjoying my womanhood feeds into the happiness of being a mother and the positive-ness of motherly love that pours out of me makes me feel like a beautiful woman.
Both parts of me are in a win-win situation and I really couldn’t have asked for more.
Image source: unsplash
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I am a new mother with a PhD in Genetics from Cambridge University. I have
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