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Life changes irrevocably for a young mom, and so much of daily time gets assigned to taking care of the baby. But should we lose out on our 'self' in this?
Life changes irrevocably for a young mom, and so much of daily time gets assigned to taking care of the baby. But should we lose out on our ‘self’ in this?
I have been writing articles the last few months on my experiences of being a working mother, the confusion, the dilemmas, joys and frustrations, guilt which are all a part of the package deal. This time, I want to use this space to write about what does a day look like for me as a new mother, how it has also morphed into being a celebration of my womanhood and the narration is not as obvious as one might think.
Before having my son, my daily life was split into three major chunks- work chunk, home chunk and a hobbies chunk. Life was predictable, I knew that if I get tired working too hard or enjoying too hard, I have a cozy bed wanting to have me for the next 8 hours. I did appreciate life in this phase, but come Sunday evening there was this feeling of boredom and gloom waiting for the Monday morning rush.
This predictability all changed once my son came along. Now my life is more divided in thinner slices and I cherish certain moments of the day which I never thought would become so valuable.
No, I am not talking about the obvious cherish-able moments like my son talking or hugging me. I don’t want to undermine these moments that I share with him, which are priceless, but I also don’t want to forget a piece called ‘me’ in all this swirl of motherhood delight. I am learning to cherish those minuscule moments I get every day, just to focus on my body and mind and this narration is to celebrate those moments, which would have swept passed me if not for being a mother.
The most beautiful moment for me starts at the beginning of the weekend day when I wake to savour the taste of good Indian coffee. I look forward to this time where the whole house is fast asleep except my son and me who are wide awake. The hot cup of coffee, a serial playing on television (which I can actually watch undisturbed by elders!) and my son playing by himself in the background on the family room floor. I can’t begin to explain the sense of peace that accompanies this moment even though it is 6am in the morning.
Next comes meditation time for which I can only spare a few minutes, but it is so precious that I actually push away all distractions, this is just enough time in space to recharge my batteries.
On weekdays, it is hour long drive to work where I can’t do anything else, but drive. I never thought what a great opportunity this is for me to enjoy listening to music, podcasts and have a good laugh or cry without inhibitions.
The experience that makes me live and experience every second of my life and be completely aware of my body is when I am back from the gym, and I am off to bed knowing that my son is also fast asleep. The fact that my body by that point in time is screaming for some rest and I can actually give it that break is an irreplaceable feeling.
I never for one thought that these mundane things or grabbing opportunities here and there during the day just to be myself would be so enjoyable. I am happy to admit that I don’t sacrifice all my interests now so I can only focus on being a ‘mother type’ of person. I am proud to say that I am trying to find and enjoy woman-mother balance within my own life. The contentment of enjoying my womanhood feeds into the happiness of being a mother and the positive-ness of motherly love that pours out of me makes me feel like a beautiful woman.
Both parts of me are in a win-win situation and I really couldn’t have asked for more.
Image source: unsplash
I am a new mother with a PhD in Genetics from Cambridge University. I have been working in Biotech/Pharma companies for more than 10 years. At crossroads now wondering who gets an upper hand read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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