How I Learned To Be Less Judgemental Of Women Not As Privileged As Me

Posted: January 25, 2019

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I am one of those privileged women who enjoyed freedom of speech and choice since childhood. I guess it made me a snob. But I know differently now.

I did feel bad for women in distress, but no sympathy. I looked at them with contempt. My sensibilities revolted hearing their stories.

As I grew up, became a wife and mother, my understanding of a woman’s situation widened. I had to take several decisions, compromise on things that I had a strong dislike for. I gained better understanding of a woman’s condition.

I still did not condone it. I always knew that the present situation is ephemeral. I knew I had to mould the circumstances according to me and not become a victim of circumstances. There have been various hiccups- disappointments, anxiety, depression, self-loathing- but no giving up. After years of hard work I found my peace in spirituality. Meditation and medication helped me overcome the demons that had been killing me and my initiative for a long time. I finally destroyed their cozy home in the deep recesses of my mind. From the debris of cynicism and negativity, the strength, within peeped out and bloomed. The peace, love, happiness buried deep under cynicism and lost hope finally breathed.

I finally grew up and learned to love myself and developed patience towards others.

I have recently associated myself with a platform for women with varied background. We share our personal experiences to motivate others, give and get advise for our problems.

I still tell women that we are responsible for what happens to us and only we can correct it. However since I have understood that it’s not days but years that bring change, so I have replaced chiding with guiding. I still get upset when Geeta tells me that she needs to take the permission of her in-laws for everything or when Uma says that women in their house are not allowed to work but I don’t jump at them like a wild cat for being weak and helpless. I know how it feels to be helplessness. I know that change starts with baby steps and that’s what I tell others.

It is heartening to see the women who felt they were good for nothing only a few months ago, are now expressing themselves through poetry about women and women empowerment. Besides this they also initiate discussions and debates on women empowerment.

The baby steps here have already become giant leaps.

However despite several emancipation drives many women are still living claustrophobic lives. Let’s find them and help them because ‘Now is OUR time’

Image source: shutterstock

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Born a brought up in Delhi, a PG in English literature and a B.Ed

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  1. Sarika ji,you write n express in an amazing style ..After going through such an enlighting share ,i cannot help myself feeling so elated n proud to say that we woman should always allow our inner strenght to peep through our inhibitions,nervousness,timidity,& social pressures of homen hearth n let it bloom n blossom in all its totality n completeness .
    When we learn to do this …women become what they really n truly mean not just for themselves but also begin to understand compassionately,n lovingly the problems,difficulties n struggles of others too – .
    thanx so much .

  2. Nice writing. And i appreciate the growth you have shown of not jumping like a “Wild cat” but rather take baby steps. everyone is fighting their demons. I am fighter like you at Privileged position of course. The only difference where i struggle with women who dont give any try to change or rebel or baby steps, but keep crying for years and accepting the fate as it is. That bothers me the most and i dont feel sympathy or empathy anymore towards them. I dont know if i am wrong or right.

  3. Loved your post and found it way too relatable.I’d be delighted if you check out mine on a similar topic –

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