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Are we losing ourselves to the daily drudgery of life? The author suggests some useful ways which would prevent us from succumbing to the everyday grind and lead a stress-free life.
Waking up at four in the morning, Bharti would kick-start her day by making tea for everyone, followed by break-fast and lunch. She would then cook and pack the tiffin-boxes for her husband, Ashmit and her two children (Alia aged 7 and Rahul aged 10). She would herself have tea after doing all these chores. All this done, she would get ready and leave the home by 7.30 AM, since her workplace was far and involved roughly two hours of travel.
Her work timings were from 9.30 AM to 5.30 PM. A fifteen minutes delay was allowed only thrice a month and hence she had to ensure that she reach well on time. Needless to mention, the pressures, once she was into the office, was immense. In the evening she would reach home by 7.30 PM, cut the veggies and set the cooker on. While these cooked, she would help with the children’s homework and studies. Dinner finished by 9.30 PM, she would put the children to bed, wash the dishes, clean the kitchen and wind up her day.
Ashmit’s office timings were mostly uncertain in the evening because of the pressure his role carried, and both the parents mostly remained sleep deprived. Tiredness often overtook them. Her attempts to find a job close to residence yielded no success in terms of pay or role satisfaction and shifting nearer to office would have meant incurring a heavy cost for living in a prime area, resulting in a higher rent outgo, school fees etc., which made no sense. Dearth of reliable full-time maids, besides the need to cater to their whims, made her drop the idea of hiring one. With a family of four and an everyday rise in the cost of living, staying at home was utterly imprudent.
Each day was hard and not any different. The choice to live in a nuclear family seemed a great prospect in the beginning but it was only later that they realized the amount of hardship and grind it involved. She had no choice but to accept the present and wait- wait for better days to come. After all, life had to go on.
This is the average life of any woman into marriage and family or should we call it a mid-life crisis? We know we must adjust, and this would change but most of the time we plunge into it, which is the mistake we end up making.
So here are a few things you can do to ease the pressures of the daily grind:
(1) Develop a healthy friends circle and catch up with them often. Do not allow boredom to set in.
(2) Cater to harmless fancies like going to saloon, taking a massage, getting a make-over and do things to feel good about yourself.
(3) Join a gym or yoga and be a part of good social or health clubs.
(4) Take out some ‘Me-time’ and relax as often as you can.
(5) Catch up on some movies that you might have missed.
(6) Follow up on hobbies that you had always wanted to but could never take up.
(7) Plan trips or movies with family and / or friends occasionally.
(8) Create weekend moments with family through indoor activities like playing games, cards, movies, small outings etc.
(9) Most importantly, insist on allotment and sharing of house work between the family members, in whichever way possible. From early years, as children begin to grow, they must be slowly moulded into being as independent as they can. Teenage children can do more to help around, at least with some small measure of the household chores, for which they must be encouraged. The habit not only helps them become confident, capable individuals but also aids them in the long run when they arrive at the same stage in life.
(10) And last but not the least, hire a help wherever possible and necessary (like a cook, servants, tutors for the children etc.) and do away with the propensity to take it all upon yourself.
In this mundane drudgery of daily life, we often forget the small things that we could do to reinvigorate ourselves. Revitalizing in whatever way we can, would do a lot of good to our health and mental stability, for it is only when the stress hormones start taking over the physique, we begin succumbing to various health issues at an early age. So, de-stressing is cardinal. After all good health is the greatest blessing of life.
Do all the above without an ounce of guilt for ultimately it may be remembered that a woman who manages to stay in a positive frame of mind, maintains a healthy, happy self and a contended family.
So, WOMEN!!! LOVE YOURSELVES FIRST!
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A Chartered Accountant by profession...wife...mom...a blogging enthusiast...the philosophical, perceptive thinker in me at times impels me to come up with thought-provoking write-ups that are usually inspired from human behaviours read more...
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I recommend reading Manjiri Indurkar's Origami Aai alongside her memoir to have a fulfilling and enriching experience of telling one's story with grace.
It’s All In Your Head, M famed author Manjiri Indurkar’s debut poetry collection, Origami Aai, is independent and yet an extension of her memoir in which she speaks with utmost grace about all forms of abuses that she has survived. In this book of intriguing and evocative poems, the poet weaves words to form images of the everyday life of her middle-class family, love found and lost, trauma, and healing.
The collection is divided into four segments, beginning with the family, slowly moving towards the world, and finally colliding them together.
We aren’t in mourning, but we are creatures of habit.
So we talk of each one who died of drowning,
and I listen to her stories with the patience
of a chronicler.
– Funereal Stories
When someone accuses you of "too much feminism", what they are really saying is, "I am uncomfortable with you challenging the status quo and disrupting my privilege".
Time and again, there is one phrase that keeps coming up in the social media discourse on feminism. Any guesses?
Ah, no prizes for guessing the infamous “itni bhi feminist” or “too much feminism” phrase, a classic eye-roller for me, and I am sure for many more of my tribe, in the realm of gender equality discussions.
Pray tell me, how can an ideology, a movement be too ‘much’? It’s not salt or the seasoning of your soup where you can go, “Oops, too much salt, only one spoon was required”. Either you stand for what feminism stands for, or you don’t.
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