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Contrary to the perception that nothing could be easier for a new mom (and baby), this mom had a tough journey with breastfeeding, but managed it with love and support from the family.
On the the last day of the World Breastfeeding Week, I considered it to be the apt moment for recording my breastfeeding journey. My son was born on 22nd Sep 2015 in Kolkata. I had an extremely complicated c-section that went on for 2.5 hours because of a horrible mess up by a junior anaesthetist. She kept trying epidural anaesthesia seven times through spinal injections though the end result was a delivery involving general anaesthesia. The irony was that my husband who is a doctor by profession used to work for the same group of hospitals in Bangalore at that point. After the delivery, the days were full of nervous excitement as a new mother.
Day 1 – I was in so much pain after the c-section that I could barely sit up straight to hold my son. Still, my hubby was insistent on getting the baby to latch on to me. After a lot of struggle when I managed to do that, the unfriendly nurse informed us that there was still no sign of breast milk. My baby had to be immediately fed formula milk.
Day 2 – I woke up to feel that milk was leaking from my left breast. I asked the nurse to get my baby and tried feeding him. The day-shift nurse was quite helpful and she helped my son to latch on. I could breastfeed him a couple of times. But the night shift nurse insisted that I choose formula because she had been informed about the low sugar count of the baby. Since hubby had gone back home after 2.5 days, I decided not to bother him and instead, followed her advice.
Day 3 – Hubby had lost his cool on hearing about the formula feeding last night. When the paediatrician came for his daily rounds, an irate hubby informed him about the lack of support for breastfeeding by a new mum. We were shocked to hear that the nurse had informed the paediatrician that I was refusing to feed the baby because of severe weakness. We made it clear that formula was not our preferred mode of feeding. During the day, I could breastfeed him for a couple of times because I couldn’t get him to suck most of the time. The nurses didn’t really help in guiding me.
Day 4 – I successfully breastfed the whole day with the help of the day shift nurse. I was discharged in the evening after gynaecologist gave us the permission. I came back to Dad’s place in the city. My in-laws had kindly agreed to stay on for few days since it was a little difficult for my Dad to manage this phase by himself. My mom had passed away in Nov 2011 and I had missed her the most when I entered the house as a new mum on this day.
Day 4 evening – the issue started after reaching home. The baby had peed and started crying out of hunger. I tried feeding him and faced the biggest challenge of my life when I couldn’t get him to latch on or suck. To pacify him, we even tried feeding him formula but he refused. At a certain point, the wails of the infant tore us apart. My father-in-law felt that it could have been because of colic pain and my husband gave him medicine after consultation with the paediatrician. I had never been so broken in life. My hubby, who until then was extremely hesitant to hold the new-born even for 10 secs stepped in and took charge of the situation. He rocked the baby, trying to put him to sleep. But how could a hungry new-born sleep! We stayed up all night trying to hold him in the correct position to help him latch. Hubby kept searching for videos on the net and finally around 4 am, we managed to discover the process of helping my baby to suck. Breastfeeding is a new and lonely journey for a mother but it is the support of family members that makes it smooth. In my case, this journey would have never begun without the involvement of my husband who is the one who taught me how to breastfeed my baby.
There began the journey which went on until my son turned twenty-eight months and then decided to wean himself. I chose baby led weaning and let him decide the end of this journey.
My toddler never slept through the night till he completed five months. Most of the days, he stayed up till 5 am in the morning and kept feeding throughout the night. Due to the pain and health issues post my difficult c-section, there were days when I felt like giving up on exclusive breastfeeding. At times my sciatica pain would literally push me to the verge of tears but I went back to reading on the importance of exclusive breastfeeding on the net and on a breastfeeding support group on Facebook. I always came back strong and inspired. Six months of exclusive breastfeeding was the best thing I have done for my son and this journey would have never been possible without my family’s support, especially that of my hubby.
The beginning of my breastfeeding journey had been full of challenges and giving up would have been an easy and convenient option. But I could never compromise with the health of my baby and thus went on to create some amazing memories and a strong bond with my toddler through the twenty-eight months of the breastfeeding journey.
First published at author’s blog
Image via Pixabay
With two post-graduate degrees and eight years of corporate experience, I quit my banking job to become a writer. I recently completed an MFA in creative writing. I pen down my opinion on food, read more...
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It is easy to give in to patriarchal expectations from a married woman and lose your self in a marriage, but the path to happiness is in keeping your independence.
Marriage is often described as the joining of two individuals’ bodies, minds, and souls. Upon getting married, you are expected to share everything with your partner, including time, money, and all other aspects of life. Your life should revolve around your spouse from beginning to end.
But is it necessary to spend every waking moment with the spouse? Are you not supposed to have a life apart from your spouse? And do these rules apply only to women or men as well?
Although both men and women may face this situation, women are generally expected to give up everything once they get married. Despite progress in several areas, expecting women to abandon their interests, passions, and friendships to align their lives with those of their spouses is still considered the norm.
The rising numbers of single women choosing this life shout out clear and loud that patriarchy and sexism will no longer break or chain us.
Another book on singlehood? It seems to be the season for books on the joys and freedom of being single. But Demystifying and Dignifying Singlehood: Life Journeys of Single Women Across the Globe by Uma Jain is different. The book does not glorify or glamourise the lives of single women in any way. These are real stories – with the good, the bad and the ugly, all there.
The book tells the stories of 15 single women across the world. A feeling of deep understanding and empathy fills you as you read the book and understand the challenges faced by the women who are single – by choice or chance. Some of the women chose to be single because they faced discrimination and even abuse as girl children. Some others had abusive marriages and sought divorce.
The tag line ‘Crafting pathways on rough terrains’ on the cover page is enough to tell you that this is a serious take on the issue of singlehood. If it focuses more on the rough than the smooth, that has been the reality for the 15 women.
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