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Are you a new mom who is expected to instinctively know all about breastfeeding? Calm down. It is a technique which takes time and patience to master.
So, it has been about 10 months since I have entered this world of parenting, and yet, every day teaches me something new about myself and our kid. However, we are now at ease with childcare and generally our lives, and those initial crazy 6 weeks seem to be a distant memory.
Yet, for all it is worth, it’s still necessary to pen down these tales. Some experiences, some questions, some expressions. My two pearls in the ocean of wisdom about parenting!
Like most other pregnant women, I had decided to go the breastfeeding way as much as possible. Not that I had any grudge against the formula, but nursing gives immeasurable health benefits which formula rarely matches, so my first choice was of course breastfeeding.
I learned my theory well. I read that the baby should be nursed as per demand (usually every 2 hours). I scouted the stores for nursing tops. I planned for staying well hydrated as one loses a lot of fluids while nursing. I wondered if I would need to use a pump when I get back to work.
In fact, I was also mentally prepared to accept that breasts do change post delivery and it is OK. Just that, I did not know that breastfeeding is not a reflex, it is a mastered technique that gets better and smoother only with time.
Cut to postpartum day 3, when we started attempting to nurse. Or later that day. Or day 5. Or day 11. Or day 13. Pain. Just a lot of pain. And a lot of questions. Is the baby latching right? Is the baby able to take milk in?
Does the baby not like milk? Is the baby destined to give me pain? What about the aching back? How do I continue to nurse if I feel that the breasts are going to fall off?
Well, to cut the long story short, I persisted. With the pain and irritation and questions, I persisted. It did get better, the baby started showing signs of comfort and a full tummy and satisfaction. It only grew more and more comfortable and convenient and at around 3 months it became a cakewalk.
Now if I had given up on nursing, I would have lost it permanently. The milk production is done on a demand-and-supply principle and hence is a one-way street. The milk doesn’t come back if you do not engage in regular nursing.
I felt that all the available theory on breastfeeding often misses to stress this crucial point. YOU. NEED. TO. PRACTISE. IT. I learned this through discomfort and got to realize that nursing is in fact a technique, that you gradually learn to master, just like any other technique like cooking or driving.
There will be hard days, there will be pain and irritation. But soon you will figure out how to nurse effectively. You will establish a regular milk supply. You will become pro at handling and soothing the child and feel good about yourself – you may also lose weight a little faster!
But it is certainly not a reflex nor an instinct that is present in all humans across the earth. Please remember, that you learn it and soon become an expert in it.
So do not curse yourself as to why aren’t you able to feed well on postpartum day 7. Please do not judge yourself and decide you must be a horrible mom. Or worse, that you were not destined to be a mom because you can not feed a child till it is satisfied. Supplement with the formula when needed.
Throw all the unwarranted suggestions and advice out of the window. Just keep patience, keep up the practice and you will be there. And then when you are there, all the tales and efforts and discomfort is probably worth it!
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A Communicator. A Media professional. Reader. Writer. Endless Talker. Importantly, a young mother. Amateur long distance runner, Self-proclaimed Salad Specialist. Active interest in music, languages, history, heritage, food, baking, and travel. read more...
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Mostly Normal is a book of innocence, longing, filial love, angst and acceptance, encapsulating a gamut of human emotions within its lightweight edifice. The book touches the human heart and will stay with you.
Some books enthral you till the last page, and then there are those that you stop reading after turning a few pages. Some books are a one-time read, while you carry some books with you long after you have read them. Then, once in a while, a book hits you so close to home that you find it difficult to slot into any category.
I will put Priyadeep Kaur’s Mostly Normal (BookSoul Reads, 2022) in this last bracket.
At a little less than hundred pages, Mostly Normal is a testimony of the power of words to inspire, irrespective of their length.
Most women do not get to live their lives the way they want, on their own terms. So why should they be tied down in their old age?
Every morning, while dropping the kids at the bus stop, I find a grandfather waiting with his granddaughter. I see him again when I fetch the kids. This has been the pattern for the last few years.
He is seen actively participating in his granddaughter’s activities, from morning and evening walks to attending her parent-teachers meeting, sending her for extracurricular activities to even planning her birthday party. He is admired by all. He is appreciated for making himself useful in his old age. People rave that the doting grandfather is doing his duty towards his children and grandchildren. The much-admired grandfather is also a widower, having lost his wife years ago to chronic disease. It’s also to be noted that both his son and daughter-in-law are working parents.
Every day, the onlookers appreciate his sense of duty and dedication. They say that this is how the elderly should keep themselves occupied. They should bring up their grandchildren while their children go off to work.
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