Dear Cosmic Mistake

#DearCosmicMistake is a series of poems I wrote on heartbreak, love, loss and unsaid goodbyes. It is about all the love stories that go unsung. 

When I first asked around for love stories from strangers for my book, people freaked out.
Not because they were afraid of being written in a book (anonymity was promised), but because they had more than one story to share. Every story that masqueraded as, “not mine dude, my friend’s”, was actually theirs and it was not that much of a secret when the real tears were shed at the goodbye part of the story.

Love. Comes in all beautiful colours, shapes and sizes. But for most people, love comes in all the wrong times (timezones!), situations and places. Some of the best love stories end in sighs and tears and not one of these stories, deserve to go unheard, un-celebrated just because they did not end as they could have ended.

Initially, I meant this book to be an anthology of love stories, collected from various people across the globes. But as life took me around, from Thailand to Malaysia, from Singapore to Colombo, the vibrancy of culture, the colourfulness of life burst so much through my writing and all my words, without even intending to, only flowed as poetry.

As a collection of poetic letters (unsent, unedited and fully unapologetic) to the mistake that was conjured by the universe when it decided to bring two people together as one, to only yank them away, with their hearts, tears and lives strewn all over the place, Dear Cosmic Mistake is not one person, it is the fault in our stars, it is the one that got away, it is a wildness in your bones that you never thought even existed, it is you, it is me, it is all of us.

The Dear Cosmic Mistake series, has seen its fair share of Facebook exposure under the hashtag #Dearcosmicmistake and has also been read at many a slam poetry readings. It has brought tears, laughter and most importantly, a tug in the heartstrings for all the love that has gone unsung.

Dear Cosmic Mistake has seen the writer in me, evolve as a person, as a poet, as a hero in myself. I truly believe in the fact that love and only love can change the world, one poem at a time and my breath catches in my throat each time I find how even the vast finitude of a writer’s pen fails to capture the wild infinitude of this magical, beautiful thing called love.

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Here’s an excerpt:

Dear Cosmic Mistake,

My words unbridle your heartstrings, I know.

All the waves my words brewed, shook your soul, I know.

You said you wanted to look me in the eye and talk.

Talk of what? I thought.

Haven’t we exhausted our lifetime of words already?

When you said you wanted to talk, I wanted to imagine,

That you meant strewing winter fleece words, nectar-dipped and bitter sweet,

Under the inky blue moon less skies;

Your finger inexpertly tracing lost stars,

Guiding my shaky index across the celestial canvases,

Letting me be the past, the present and the future (even if it were for a flickering moment),

Of stories untold, songs sung, galaxies traversed and worlds lost.

I imagine possibilities.

Possibilities that we both know are futile hoping for.

Possibilities that’d ruin our already ruined, thunder-struck bodies for good.

What’s your body ruined with, Dear Cosmic Mistake?

I want to imagine, with mine;

With the mistakes of my sin-stained hands and love-thirsty lips.

My words are all lost,

My heart wells, as I throw up, metaphor after metaphor,

Of pure untinged hope.

Hope that ties my body down in chains,

Hopes of forevers under moonless skies and thunderstorm nights.

Hopes of your taste on my lips and filigreed whorls of your dreams, underneath my tongue.

Hopes between falling, rising, swell of our pulses combined and the smell of rusting cast iron of your heart.

I want to imagine entwined fingers and moonlight-glazed eyes,

I want to imagine warm bodies and warmer hearts.

I want to be the thunder in your bones as you shudder awake each morning,

The lightning in your eyes, as you spearhead memories of us, across dreamscape dartboards of your soul.

Baby I want to slowly, softly, surely feel your reverberating heart,

Against the caged contours of mine and see if that’s the closest we can get, to painful goodbyes.

I want to be one with the night, to be one with each whispered light of dawn.

I want for once, for you to want me too,

And be the pure shot of raw undiluted wild-as-fuck-love in your soul.

You said you wanted to make love to me.

Blunt. Steel-cold. Raw.

Throwing me off balance,

From the deck of designed realities you wove for me.

The vibrant truth in your voice, shivering fresh,

Fluid shots of adrenaline down my spine.

I want to imagine you.

Your rough wood-bark hands.

Your summer washed skin.

Your silver sweet lips.

Your hurricane brewing eyes.

Your name.

Your heart.

You.

Dear cosmic mistake, take my hand, take my heart,

And until we part,

Be my song,

Be my poetry,

Be the life in my veins,

Be all that I am.

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