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Until last year, my life, like my Facebook list, was cluttered with people, regardless of whether they were well-wishers or users. Until I decided to declutter my life.
There was a time when I let a ‘Facebook friend’, a former colleague who had written a book, use my Facebook wall to publicise his book. He was aware that I had several journalists on my list, so he thought it would be a golden opportunity for him to tag me in a post and get free publicity. He had protested when I had won an award in the company where we had worked together earlier. So he had done me harm in the past. I still let him promote his book on my wall. A nice gesture on my part? No doubt. Foolish? A 100%.
Or take the case of another ‘friend’ who invited herself to my upscale Indira Nagar flat, stayed over weekends, ate the food that my cook made her, ate out at my expense, borrowed my books and never once returned any of these gestures (or the books). What’s worse? When she found out I was moving to Chennai, she cut all links with me as if understanding that she could no longer ‘get’ anything out of me.
These are but two examples that come to mind instantly of the undeserving takers who used to suck up my time and energy.
Last year, I removed these ‘friends’, who were energy vampires in disguise, from my Facebook list. I figured having a list of 800 such ‘friends’ was doing me more harm than good, so I pared down my list to 220 connections. The act of removing from my Facebook list those who had dubious intentions toward me has improved my peace of mind.
Good energy soon flowed into my home. I extended this ‘de-cluttering’ to my possessions, too. I took stock of my clothes, discarded those that were too old or damaged or faded and donated the decent ones to an orphanage. I also cleaned out my shoe cupboard and threw away several pairs of useless footwear.
I don’t know if it was turning 40 that did it or just exhaustion at being taken advantage of, but I put a stop to all these things last year. 2018, undoubtedly, is far better than last year. By removing negative people and influences from my life and directing my goodwill toward the deserving, I have improved my clarity of thought and no longer feel over-extended. I recommend frequent decluttering to keep not only your home positive but also your frame of mind, peaceful.
Image source: pixabay
Aishwariya Laxmi is a writer, editor, blogger, and poet living in suburban Chennai, India. She blogs on https://aishwariyalaxmi.com/ and has a newsletter at https://ash.fambase.com/. Her poems and flash fiction have read more...
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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