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This beautiful letter to an ex is filled with the peace of knowing that life's experiences leave us with precious memories - even the ones with scars.
This beautiful letter to an ex is filled with the peace of knowing that all of life’s experiences leave us with precious memories – even the ones overlaid with scars.
Even the love stories that are not ‘happily ever after’ teach us something!
Bestselling author Nikita Singh’s latest novel, Letters To My Ex is all about one such love story. Taking our cue from this novel, we asked readers to send us their own letter to an ex. The best eight are being published here, and win a copy of the book as well as a shopping voucher for Rs.300. Get your own copy here, of Letters To My Ex and curl up with a bittersweet read this February!
Dear almost Pistanthrophobia,
Yes, that is a new nickname for you. Wait, don’t dash off to Google it, read the letter first darling, the meaning is right there at the end.
Oh! Don’t rush to the end now, like you always do – you seem to be extra fond of endings, not the happily ever after types though, but please have patience with me one last time.
Remember the beautiful gifts we once gave each other and the best gift ever –Time? You can surely give me five more minutes of it, my dear.
We had common eyes and common dreams those days, ah! The shiny idealism of young love! We were the envy of our small world; we were too perfect to be even believable. We wrote poems for each other, made wishes and said prayers for each other to survive the long distance.
Nothing in the world seemed precious enough to not give up for those stolen moments of intimacy, when the bodies would tire holding the heavy receivers of landline phones but the hearts still wanted one more word, one more song.
The meetings like dreams come true, two young doves in their utopia, oblivious of time the traitor waiting to prey.
Soon the long distance became too long a distance. It was not the others who came between us, but we who became the others.
We didn’t even realise when were the last times of everything we shared – the last time you put your head in my lap, the last time you brushed a crumb off my lips, the last time we laughed at a private joke, the last time our bodies touched each other’s warmth.
Now it is all past tense.
Do they amputate hearts like limbs yet?
That is exactly how my chest felt, an empty ribcage where there still remained a ghost heartbeat but my heart was gone.
The letters, the pictures, the gifts remain and most of all, the memories. You remain in me in the way I stir my chai, or write my expenses, or check all the doors and knobs twice every night. I am sure I remain in you the way you arrange your currency in your wallet, the way you sometimes experiment with food and say the difficult new words twice.
People and relationships don’t break instantly like glass tumblers, they feel the knock, then show a crack, then the cracks deepen and finally they break slowly over a lifetime and yet the residues remain, of your quirky Bollywood humour in every conversation I have, my messy wardrobe in every wardrobe you will ever see.
You have moved on my dear and so have I, to a point of no return. To say “I love you, but….” is to say “I never loved you maybe at all.”
I have let go of you and yet I hold on to some precious life lessons and memories from our time together. No we can’t be friends, but we can be two strangers having the same burial ground of a time bygone.
“Like some wines our love could neither mature nor travel.”
― Graham Greene
This loss of losing a loved one to life is like a wound that might never heal and yet I wish you all good things in life, so that if and when you look back, you have a lot to be grateful for, including me.
You became almost Pistanthrophobia (the fear of trusting people due to past experiences with relationships having gone bad.)
But I would rather make you a valuable life lesson and move on with a smile and a healing hug.
Your once one-and-only!
You can view our entire #LettersToMyEx series here.
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Pooja Priyamvada is an author, columnist, translator, online content & Social Media consultant, and poet. An awarded bi-lingual blogger she is a trained psychological/mental health first aider, mindfulness & grief facilitator, emotional wellness trainer, reflective read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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In the last few days I was having a conversation with my younger sister about relationships, and she said something which hit me hard.
I have seen a lot of people feel uncomfortable sharing their age, but I have no such hesitations. I am 32 years old and my younger cousins tell me that I belong to the ‘old generation’. If you are born in the year 1990, you are still considered among them, but if a year less – 1989, you are from the old school.
Being an elder sister, my cousins come to me seeking advice about studies, career and relationships, but when I try to help in the way I understand, the only reply I get is, “Didi, leave it, you’ll not understand it. Aapki generation aur hamari generation mein bahut fark hai. (There’s a lot of difference between your and my generation).”
In the last few days I was having a conversation with my younger sister about relationships, and she said something which hit me hard. Though she is from the new generation and I am from the so-called old generation, we share a lot of mutual thoughts and interests. We spoke about love, how the generation born after the year 2000 perceives love.
You ask any SATC fan. We all wanted a friendship like the one that the 4 girls shared. A friendship that was a rock. A friendship that seemed to withstand the tests of time and in general, life.
I confess that SATC (Sex and the City) has a special place in my heart. I must have watched the 6 seasons and every single episode at that, countless times. Seriously, there was nothing like sitting back with a glass of wine, a bar of dark chocolate and an episode of SATC, after a hard day at work. It renewed me. Made me laugh.
So much so, that I even ended up going for the special SATC bus tour when I visited New York in 2019.
Now some may call the show frivolous but for me, it was pure, honest entertainment. I was in love with the fashion, the ‘fabulousness’, the fun! And it had its moments as well. Moments that were truly thought-provoking, moments that made its viewers take a good, candid look at their own relationships, particularly their female friendships.