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With the best intentions in the world, some marriages don't work out. Perhaps we need to rethink that bit about 'all you need is love'?
With the best intentions in the world, some marriages don’t work out. Perhaps we need to rethink that bit about ‘all you need is love’?
Even the love stories that are not ‘happily ever after’ teach us something!
Bestselling author Nikita Singh’s latest novel, Letters To My Ex is all about one such love story. Taking our cue from this novel, we asked readers to send us their own letter to an ex. The best eight are being published here, and win a copy of the book as well as a shopping voucher for Rs.300. Get your own copy here, of Letters To My Ex and curl up with a bittersweet read this February!
Dear A,
I don’t know why I am writing this letter to you on a public platform. But then, my life has always been an open book, though I don’t allow everybody to read that book. Over the past few years, I have always wanted to tell you so many things, but somehow I’ve not been able to do so for one reason or the other. Today after a gap of so many years, when I try to pen down my thoughts, I am at a loss as to where to begin and where to end.
This is the month of February and love is in the air. February is the month of romance and February reminds me of you very often. No, I don’t want to remember you anymore. All the times that we have spent together, be it good or bad, lost their relevance the moment we got the decree of divorce. But then, I am a human after all, not a robot. So, over the years, try whatever I may, I have not been able to erase you completely from my memory.
I don’t use anymore the expensive wristwatch that you gifted me on our second wedding anniversary. I am back to my good old inexpensive wristwatch. After all, a price tag can’t determine the worth of all objects. My old inexpensive watch has shown me many good times in life, whereas yours has only shown bad, difficult times. I don’t wear any of the sarees that you gifted me. I can’t bear their very presence in my wardrobe. But over the years, I have come to terms with the fact that I have to live with your memories. I can’t escape them.
Sometimes I wonder what went wrong with our relationship. We both loved each other. Still, our marriage failed miserably. One thing that I learned from this marriage was that we need something more than love to keep a relationship going. If you ask me, what that something is, then again I am unable to come up with a definite answer. Perhaps, it was maturity. After all, we both were so young, so inexperienced at that time. Remember the time when we kissed on the street? All these seems so childish to me now. Or may be, it was trust that is the foundation of any good relationship. Down the years, the trust evaporated from our relationship, leaving it fragile.
Whatever it may be, the greatest lesson that I learned from my marriage with you is that no other love can be greater than love for self. Your love left me in tears, on the verge of being a psychiatric patient. Now I am happy being myself. This Valentines’ Day, I took myself to a movie date, bought gifts for myself and treated myself to an ice-cream. But one thing that I find difficult is getting into any relationship. I don’t know whether I’ll ever be able to get into any normal relationship.
I don’t want to face you ever in my life. But I know the inevitable. After all, we still have a common property: our son. And once he turns eighteen, my custody right will be over and you’ll have the right to meet him as often as you want. Till then, be happy in your own life. I have never wanted anything but happiness for you. May God give you all that you desire.
With lot of good wishes, Your ex-wife.
You can view our entire #LettersToMyEx series here.
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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