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You must have wondered at least at some point in your life: what is first time sex really like for most women? Quora has a lot of answers. Read on.
Sex is kind of a big deal in our country and the world in general. And with the extreme lack of awareness and sexual education, first-time sex experiences are generally very surprising to a person. When you realise how the increased expectations due to the internet and the perfect pictures painted in our minds by movies suddenly come apart in front of you because it not at all what like what they say. It’s not necessarily a bad thing.
Let’s just clear things up a bit. (Note – we’re talking here about first time sex between a woman and a man; there are plenty of other combinations possible).
“I look back on it as a learning experience. It was the first time for both of us and I dare say he was surprised when I let him go all the way. I had decided I would let him do it and thus get over the first time drama and its fears etc. (Keep in mind in India a girl’s virginity has an insane amount of importance – it is held as a measure of her character and morals – though in reality it is just big issue over a little tissue!) Thankfully the first time after some trial and error did result in my loosing my cherry – the earth did not move and it was not awesome – but I achieved the outcome I wanted.” – Priya Tal
“I don’t know whether I had sex intentionally or not, but I really enjoyed him.”- Anonymous
“Before answering let me mention that I’m a woman, Indian and unmarried. Just before doing it I was kind of scared of the repercussions, physical, emotional and social. But when I did it, it felt good but not great. I realized that sex is overrated. After doing it, things didn’t change much. Life went on as usual. But I only feel as if I’m part of a club now.” – Anonymous
It may not be as exciting as you think it looks like, but that’s totally okay. It’s only your first time ever so chill a bit.
“My first time? It was not as romantic as I have wanted it to be. Twas a happy and sad experience.” – Peevee Jaino
NO, it not necessary that it pains or bleeds when you do it. It totally depends on your individual anatomy, how you’re feeling that day/moment, how your partner treats you and a bunch of other factors. If pain persists, consult a doctor, it’s okay. Neither is ‘abnormal.’
“It was fine. It was fun and rather interesting, with no pain or bleeding. I was very happy to have gotten past it without problems.” – Shakti Amarantha
“My first time is a cherished memory. I felt safe, warm and treasured.” – Akshita Bhalla
“For me, it hurt like hell! But I have lots of friends who said it was fine. Use lots of lube and take it slow!” – Christine Fawn
It’s OKAY to have an embarrassing or messy or weird first time experience. It’s not the end of your life, trust me. First-time sex may not be as dreamy or smooth or romantic or a hundred other adjectives that you associate it with, but the main thing is… Use Protection, ladies. That’s important in more ways than one.
Aside from that, remember that life goes on and even though for some it might feel like the cringy-est experience ever that makes you want to wash your brains out, you’ll probably laugh about it later in life.
Top image is a still from the movie Jism
New Delhi, India I like to read, write, and talk. A feminist through and through, with a soft spot for chocolate. read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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