Let’s Put An End To Feminism, Shall We?

Want to put an end to feminism? Good! Then you must be perfectly fine doing the following things, amirite? 

This article is for all of us…

Especially women and men who have been fighting for equality with men…

It is because we are not listening to men, that this imbalance has been created.

I appeal to you to stop this so-called war (read – nonsense) once and for all. Let us give up. Let us stop fighting at every point and all the time. Let us give the world what it wants from women.

• Let females be killed before and after they are born. Let female fetuses and female infants getting killed become the norm. So let’s make prenatal sex determination and sex-selective abortions legal again. Let the male population thrive and outnumber the females so that only men remain in this world. Let us become one of those animals that have become endangered, for example, the rhinoceros.
• Let us be covered from head to toe in burkhas and ghoonghats as that is our culture. Let us stop making the mistake of showing our faces to the world so that the men will not be enticed and excited. Because then we get raped and it is our fault because men have hormones like testosterone. It’s always the girl’s fault.
• Let us all allow ourselves and our girls to be raped and molested because men need to. After all, they are ‘men’ and they cannot control themselves. Let us give up our bodies in service to men.
• Let us hide when we are menstruating, because all our gods are male, and it’s weird for men. Plus during menstruation, we are infected (apparently) and it’s communicable. There should be camps for menstruating women that are isolated and quarantined.
• Let our girls get married and keep paying dowries because that is what tradition is all about. Men are giving us the privilege to be married to them. They are so much superior to us, they are keeping us in their houses, and the least we can do is compensate them for their troubles. And if we don’t, they have every right to slap and kick and set us on fire.
• Let us wear mangalsutras, big red bindis and bangles. In fact, let us just tattoo our husband’s name on our bodies to indicate we are married so that the other men don’t get confused and hit on you. When they see all these things, they know that we are somebody else’s property. Such a simple solution.
• Let us name our girl child with only first names, so that when she gets married, her husband’s last name will be added to her name and all the fuss made about changing names just vanishes. Or better yet females shouldn’t have last names at all (having a tattoo of her husband’s name will do it, I think) they are not assigned properties, so they are exempted from all legal matters anyway.
• Let men take multiple wives, and have affairs because God made men polygamous, it’s not their fault.
• Let us stop sending our girls to schools. What good is education when you are just a vehicle for carrying and populating the world with male babies.
• Let us quit our jobs and stay at home because men can handle the workplace. They were born to be providers, that is what nature demands. Us getting commented on, groped and not being paid at par with men is our punishment for violating nature’s rules for women.
• Let us not fall in love because honour is most important. More important than anybody’s life. And the society’s honour lies in our reproductive tracts. Why do we women make the mistake of falling in love while men are striving so hard to maintain our and the society’s honor? And that totally justifies honour killing, we should totally support them.
• Let us give up our jobs. Even though now we are educated, we might have held jobs in the past but now that we are married, we should give them up and stay at home. Otherwise, who will look after the house? It’s of utmost importance. Men are working hard day and night to provide for us, our children and elderly parents. How dare we expect them to share the household chores? And all those women who are working outside after marriage, well, do not exploit the privilege that has been given to you by your in-laws and husbands. Working for 2/3 hours a day is more than enough to indulge in your hobbies. Careers are for men.
• Let us not expect men to be loving and caring or sensitive. Because men have to be tough. It’s just evolution; they had to hunt while we just sat in our caves. We are sorry, dear men; it’s just that we are so dense (lack of brains and all…).
• Let us give up our sexual desires. Desires and dreams are for men. Women having desires are immoral and a threat to society. After all, women have to carry babies. They should have pure minds and hearts; after all, they are mothers, isn’t it enough that men donate their precious sperms to become fathers. They have sex with women and allow them to carry their children.
• Let us allow men to take that promotion because, well, only men deserve it. You’ve probably got that promotion because your male boss fancies you or your female boss favours women. It just can’t be your hard work.
• Let us allow men to make all our choices for us since we were born with a vagina, uterus and breasts; it’s naturally implied that we were born without brains. We do not understand anything after all. We are just bags of emotions and that’s useless in the world anyway.

Because of women taking up all the space in the world some men are getting confused and insecure. Let us be of service to them.

So, to all the men and women out there, let us feminists know what else we can do so that men can be more comfortable in the world.

Editor’s Note: Sarcasm Alert, in case you didn’t get it already.

Top image via Pixabay

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