Teaching Children Consent Is Too Important To Leave It To Chance!

What’s the right age for teaching children consent? This is what #WomenOnTheMove had to say in our weekly Twitter Chat.

As a mother, more often than not I am left gobsmacked by the way society thinks and views that it is their right to have a say over our children’s bodies, instead of leaving it to them. Children are often shamed for not giving the grand-parents or the uncles and aunties a kiss or a hug.

Call to action lines like, “I’ll only do this after you give me a cuddle” or “I want a kiss on my cheek if you want this” often do the rounds if the child says a ‘NO’. Their right to choose to give someone a hug or not is blatantly disregarded. They are never asked. They’re just told.

Having said that, our role does not end there. It is equally important to tell our children that as much as it is important to have a right on their own bodies, it is equally important to respect other’s choices when it comes to their bodies. It is never a one way road and all children should be raised with that thought. Give respect to get respect.

Earlier this week, we had our weekly #Womenonthemove chat over at Twitter, and this is what we discussed.

(If you’re not yet following Women’s Web on Twitter, do now, and you can come over for the chat too, every Thursday 6-7PM IST).

Catch them young

@womensweb A1: As soon as they start playing or going out. These days kids are smart enough to understand things.#WomenOnTheMove

— Fasiha Farrukh (@FasihaFarrukh) October 5, 2016

@womensweb#WomenOnTheMove Make them independent take their consent as early as 3-4 of the subjects they can take it easy & watch them

— ILA VARMA (@VARMAILA) October 5, 2016

A1: Not too early, I think. It may make them arrogant. Wait until they start understanding things clearly, maybe 5-6 yrs. #WomenOnTheMove https://t.co/WXAcg1Vpfv

— Tarang Sinha (@TarangSinha) October 5, 2016

A1 @womensweb I believe it can begin in simple terms & examples from as early as 2yrs. Making them realize that even they can choose. https://t.co/d5oIKTXs3E

— Nilima Kadam-Mohite (@nilimakadam) October 5, 2016

@womensweb as early as they can understand 2-3 years!

— Belletrista (@thebelletrista) October 5, 2016

@womensweb A1 start it at around 2.5 to 3, once the child can talk and understand, don’t delay imparting this vital lesson #WomenOnTheMove

— Akshata (@Awestruck_Aks) October 5, 2016

Actions speak louder than words

Children are keen observers. So the best way to impart knowledge is through your everyday actions.

@womensweb A1 l think when they are tweens. More importantly your behaviour with them and with your spouse must show them. #WomenOnTheMove

— Rachna says (@rachnaparmar) October 5, 2016

A1 @womensweb I believe it can begin in simple terms & examples from as early as 2yrs. Making them realize that even they can choose. https://t.co/d5oIKTXs3E

— Nilima Kadam-Mohite (@nilimakadam) October 5, 2016

@womensweb A2 through open conversations, lead by example, encourage them to speak their mind, make them feel their opinion is valued

— Akshata (@Awestruck_Aks) October 5, 2016

@womensweb A1: As soon as they start playing or going out. These days kids are smart enough to understand things.#WomenOnTheMove

— Fasiha Farrukh (@FasihaFarrukh) October 5, 2016

@womensweb If you bar him from watching TV then parents need to abide by it too. Don’t preach. show the path to follow #WomenOnTheMove

— ILA VARMA (@VARMAILA) October 5, 2016

Asking for permission

Yes it is extremely important to respect our children’s wishes but it is also equally important to teach them that other’s choices matter too. A NO is a NO for both sides. Only a YES is PERMISSION.

@womensweb It’s also important that you teach the same thing about consent to both the genders. This education will otherwise be of no use

— Belletrista (@thebelletrista) October 5, 2016

@womensweb and at the same time make them aware of the fact that they need to give this right to others as well. It is a two-way street

— Belletrista (@thebelletrista) October 5, 2016

A1: That it’s not a one-sided thing. If we value their thoughts, they must learn to value our thoughts too. #WomenOnTheMove https://t.co/b5UW4J35CE

— Tarang Sinha (@TarangSinha) October 5, 2016

Their body, their right

I read that one shouldnt force kids to be affectionate to others and respect their wishes. It makes sense, I hope I dont lose kisses https://t.co/KL7ShDbqwv

— TravelingNoodles (@anjujayaram) October 5, 2016

A1 #WomenOnTheMove By asking them to say ‘No’ right in front of person they are not comfortable with.Both sides get the message. @womensweb https://t.co/oUSbJ5ksE4

— Nilima Kadam-Mohite (@nilimakadam) October 5, 2016

A1 #WomenOnTheMove By asking them to say ‘No’ right in front of person they are not comfortable with.Both sides get the message. @womensweb https://t.co/oUSbJ5ksE4

— Nilima Kadam-Mohite (@nilimakadam) October 5, 2016

Show them They should Choose and it will be Respected.Start@Home First.Reinforce.Ask them for opinion,execute it.@womensweb #WomenOnTheMove https://t.co/QPonv40v3H

— Nilima Kadam-Mohite (@nilimakadam) October 5, 2016

@womensweb A2: ppl kiss & lift kids,tell them to where not to let anyone kiss them & move away if some Unknown touch them. #WomenOnTheMove

— Fasiha Farrukh (@FasihaFarrukh) October 5, 2016

A2. Simply by supporting them when they say no to being hugged rather than pressurizing them #WomenOnTheMove https://t.co/R5OeWR3BOd

— Aparna V Singh (@editorsahiba) October 5, 2016

@womensweb let them choose clothes, ppl they want to talk with, express discomfort, engage in healthy debates, don’t let them win on purpose

— Belletrista (@thebelletrista) October 5, 2016

@womensweb by respecting their NO! If they express strong negative opinions abt something/one don’t try to change it with your reasoning.

— Belletrista (@thebelletrista) October 5, 2016

A3: By giving importance to their ‘NOs’. And no, absence of no is not yes. We must prompt them to say a NO (If they want to) #WomenOnTheMove https://t.co/Z1dFQnJ0ow

— Tarang Sinha (@TarangSinha) October 5, 2016

A3: And, if their No is not justified, we must discuss why is it so? It’s about making correct decisions, not arrogance. #WomenOnTheMove https://t.co/Z1dFQnJ0ow

— Tarang Sinha (@TarangSinha) October 5, 2016

@womensweb.Parents deal with kids as per their mood, it’s wrong. The Yes always stands Yes & No is always No.#WomenOnTheMovethem

— ILA VARMA (@VARMAILA) October 5, 2016

@VARMAILA @womensweb so true. to send the message NO means NO, we need to ensure that our NO stays NO in the face of tantrums, sulking etc..

— Belletrista (@thebelletrista) October 5, 2016

@womensweb by reasoning it out they do understand sound rationale! Making them independent responsible choosers between Y&N #womenonthemove

— swati (@RaiSwatiRai) October 5, 2016

@womensweb #WomenOnTheMove 2 by listening to them, not forcing them to do something they r uncomfortable with n explng good touch bad touch

— asfiyarahman (@doonwriter) October 5, 2016

Image: Pixabay

Jyotishree Mohanty

A part time backpacker, an accidental baker, a doting mother, a loving wife, a pampered

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