Read on how to enrich your life by purpose, i.e. to find depth and, a reason to get out of bed each morning, your own Ikigai.
In a society obsessed with fair skin, we need to empower our children against the dark shaming.
Yes, often beauty can be skin deep, and yes, beautiful people are attractive. It is often so in nature. Female birds select their partners based upon their wing symmetry and colourful plumage. But what do you do when that skin deep beauty is all they can see?
Many people had told me while growing up that I was dark. Even then I grew up confident, determined and feeling beautiful. (Thanks to my mom who always told I am extra-ordinarily beautiful.) Despite that, I still tried out all the market products available to make me lighter. But trust me nothing works!
From fair and lovely to bleaching creams, false hopes, false beliefs. How easily the market can trap us down in our insecurities! It has been installed into our brains from generations that fair is beautiful. A fair skinned girl is marriage material.
But don’t let the media and clever marketers fool you that your skin color can be changed and that’s when you are going to be beautiful. Fairness creams just delay the time of acceptance of your complexion. A lady who was looked down upon suddenly gets popularity because she became 5-6 shades lighter, marriage proposal wherein the guy rejected suddenly fell for her. Please ladies refuse such alliances where color plays a major role.
And men are also prone to this color scheming, now there are fair and handsome creams. The cricketer and the film star who rock because they became shades lighter. Color of the skin is determined in your genes, once the zygote is formed, so concentrate on being clean, healthy, and confidence always boosts your beauty.
In my college days I was told I am too pretty to be dark skinned. I was confused. Did he call me pretty or did he call me dark? I never understood.
A few years back there was an online campaign on the theme “Dark is beautiful”. So we have started taking steps towards it.
And there comes a stage in life wherein color, caste, creed seems petty. And that is when you realize your daughter might start feeling what you felt 20 years back.
One of my friends asked me, “why did your daughter become so dark? I thought she was your husband’s colour.” This was not a previous generation aunty who had asked me. It was one my physician friends who is well read, well accomplished, and is considered a success in the society. And then she went on to tell me how I should be using creams and avoiding the sunlight on my daughter to make her skin lighter. Telling me, who am a pediatrician!
Yes, sure! Why not? (sarcasm alert!) I will make my 3 year old daughter sit at home, avoiding sunlight, applying creams and imparting your wisdom that if she becomes fair, she is bound to get a guy who will adore her. Really! And please, moms who have had boys, stop talking about my daughter being your son’s girlfriend or wife, trust me that’s a whole new article which is quite lengthy.
“Yes, of course, my daughter is born dark because her mom is super hot,” was my comeback!
I smiled and left her place as fast as possible. I would never let my daughter believe in such nonsense. I shall make her a strong willed, outspoken good citizen. People like this are going to be there in every nook and corner. I shall teach my daughter to ignore them. I can tell my daughter that she is extra-ordinary and beautiful just like my mother did!
Image credit: Dr Suman Shekar.
I am Dr.Suman Shekar, born in India, currently residing in Bowling Green,Kentucky,USA.
Well written., superb article,,
Such a beautiful article..I m.also a pediatrician and I have faced d same problem as yours…thanks to my mom who always told me I am really beautiful and those words encouraged me in every aspect of my life…
Thank you, we have to be thankful to Gof for our moms !
I had the similar story written, I am equally surprised with most of the matches thoughts. EXPERIENCE.. Being a dark skinned and often criticized for being so too made me wish for fairer one. It’s all about genes. There’s no TYPE for the meaning of beautiful. Everyone is pretty here. Be real you, every girl out there.
Thank you, we are making a progress by thinking and writing about it openly..!
Very well put! I totally love your comeback to what was said about your daughter.
How Unfair: This Prejudice Cuts Across All Of Indian Society
Swimming, Sports, Sun: I’m Happy Being Un-Fair And Lovely
Yes, I Am A Dusky Woman And I’m Perfectly Happy With The Way I Look!
Being Dark, Dusky, Is Not A Disability, Being Black, Brown Is Not A Disease!
Get our weekly mailer and never miss out on the best reads by and about women!