Anupama writes a letter to her 18-year old daughter. Read what she has to say.
A woman cannot get over a failed relationship and believes she was cheated. What advice would you offer?
Every Thursday, the Women’s Web expert panel with the support of Healtheminds, answers questions from readers facing relationships issues, emotional and mental challenges and other such issues.
I have no way except to die. I was in love with a guy for the past 5 years. I asked him to marry me but he said that he was already married, and asked me to marry someone else. I tried to reach him many times to ask why he cheated me. But he would not pick up my call. He used me physically also. Now my parents are forcing me to get married. I can’t tell this to my parents and I can’t marry another person. What should I do? I am very much depressed.
Dear friend, just calm down and reflect over what has gone by.
Yes, you were in love with a guy. You sincerely wanted to marry him and grow old with him. But reality is somewhat different.
There is no choice with us as of now. We have to accept it.
Yes, you are hurt, you feel betrayed and cheated for no fault of yours.
But dear, although the incident is hurtful and we have no choice in the matter, we do have a choice in how do we face this situation.
And we will choose to face this situation – boldly and with head held high. That is what we can do and that is what we will do, will do.
Please keep on saying this positive affirmation to yourself, repeatedly, many times during the day.
What is depression? In this case, it is a set of negative thoughts upon which keeps on feasting upon our mind.
Why should we keep saying these affirmations?
We must get out of this muddle ourselves. No one else can do it, but us.
And we will. We will. These positive self assertions will help you get your confidence back, your smile back.
During depression, we keep on thinking about the same individual and the same incidents time and again. And a lot of self-doubt emerges.
How could I be so stupid as to believe him?
How could I not realize what his true motive was?
Oh, How could I trust him so blindly?
Shoo these self doubts away and fill your mind with a lot of light and happy thoughts.
Why should we waste our time and energy thinking about a fraudulent person?
Why, oh why?
Rather, think of our parents who have sacrificed so much for us and we have perhaps never hugged them to say thank you or to told them how much they mean to us.
We have to jerk ourselves out of this negative self-defeating muddle and look towards the future. We will be able to deal with things better and in right perspective.
Also, what stops you from going into a relationship that your parents want for you? Who is stopping your from being happy and enjoying yourself once again?
Please reflect on these and go ahead and shake hands with life once again.
It would also help you to meet a counselor too who will help you come out of your lows as and when you welcome them in your mind and regain your composure, confidence and self worth.
For your parents, you still remain their precious princess, please remember that.
– Dr. Amita Puri, Psychologist, Healtheminds
Have a question that you would like to run by an expert and get an opinion? Use this form to ask!
You can also get in touch with experts and schedule support sessions at Healtheminds.
depressed woman image via Shutterstock
Women's Web is a vibrant community for Indian women, an authentic space for us
Indian Marriage Drama: How I Hold My Ground as an Unmarried 30–Year–Old Woman
How The Whole Issue About Getting Married Led To Misunderstandings With My Parents
“Kundli Mein Dosh”: 5 Astrological Predictions About Marriage That Hit Young People Big Time!
[#NotMyLoveJihad] My Mom & My Boyfriend Of Different Faith – My 2 Loves I Don’t Want To Pick From!
Get our weekly mailer and never miss out on the best reads by and about women!