Read on how to enrich your life by purpose, i.e. to find depth and, a reason to get out of bed each morning, your own Ikigai.
We all have opinions in life, but growth lies in knowing that there are many perspectives to one thing. In gist, there is no single truth.
So, does God exist?
Don’t worry, I am not actually asking you that. I am merely quoting my eight-year-old who chose to pose this question to me the moment she got off the school bus on Friday afternoon. To be honest, it threw me off balance and I am ashamed to say I chuckled at the question. Not because I found the question funny but the fact that an 8-year-old would be asking me this never crossed my mind.
Once balance had been restored to my rattled state, I responded with, “What do you think?”
Yes, you see, I believe in the new parenting practice of answering a question with a question, because, clearly that doesn’t annoy anyone, especially kids. Her grumpy face creased further into a frown and she said, “I am not sure. Dev told me that he does not exist and said I am stupid for thinking he does.”
Now, my amusement turned to thoughtful contemplation and I looked her in the eye. In a soft voice, I asked her, “The question is, darling, what do you want to believe? That he exists or that somebody else says that he does not?”
She crossed her arms over her chest, her frown dissipating and responded, “I would like to think it over.”
Delight overcame everything else and I hugged her tight, the matter shelved for the moment.
We are all walking that tightrope between faith and disbelief, aren’t we? I am not talking about God’s existence or the lack of the same, but our belief systems, in general, be they emotional, social or psychological. We rarely give the other person the benefit of the doubt and choose to label them as ‘stupid’ or ‘unwilling to see my point of view’ if their views contravene ours at a given juncture.
I think it has to do with the validation principle, most visibly so on social media forums, I notice. A person posts an update, a blog post, a tweet declaring an ideology. What are they actually looking for? Do they want others to validate their point of view or respectfully oppose the same? I sense that the latter is not taken too kindly. We are such creatures of social acceptance that we do not want people to disagree with us. Doing so would mean that there is a possibility that we are wrong. And that is anathema to our comfortable shells of existence.
Working on this has done a lot for me this past year, both as a writer and as a person. If I pose a question, I lay myself open to criticism and opposition.
Working on this has done a lot for me this past year, both as a writer and as a person. If I pose a question, I lay myself open to criticism and opposition. That’s where healthy debates lie. That is the foundation for growth. That is the nub of the spiritual path I have carved out for myself.
It would have been infinitely easier for me to have answered my daughter with a simple, ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ to a seemingly innocuous question at this age. But, by doing that, I’d be negating her need to question, her ability to see things from another’s perspective and most crucially, her desire to explore her own path.
If experience has taught me anything, it is that in questioning even the most comfortable truths lies our true salvation.
First published here
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An editor by profession and a blogger by passion. Working from home gives me the
That’s such an important food for thought Shailaja. You are so right – as adults, we are quick to respond, handle questions and state our opinions. But are they really needed? Aren’t those questions more to think of a different perspective? You are bringing up Gy so wonderfully by helping her think for herself. Enjoyed reading your post!
That is the basis of all healthy debate, right, Parul? Diversity of opinions. Else how are we different from every other living creature? I always enjoy conversing with Gy because interestingly, she makes me question a lot of my own stance on certain topics too. That is really fascinating. Thank you so much for reading!
As they say, children teach so many things to parents. Couldn’t agree more! 🙂
My son too questions me many times and declares there is no god.
For a 6 year old he has so many questions and opinions. Of course I encourage him.
As you always should, Inderpreet. May he continue to question and always arrive at the truth through his own questioning and his own understanding, helped along by your wisdom and support.
Love the way you handled your daughter’s profound question. It is fantastic when we trust our children to find their own answers. They can surprise us with their capabilities and wisdom!
Very true, Shilpa. In most cases I find that their wisdom and maturity far surpasses our own, especially when it is untouched by ‘education’ in the formal sense of the word.
Shailaja, loved this. Food for thought.
Thank you, Alka 🙂
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