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Why do children lie? It's something that begins at home. Here's how to teach them honesty.
Why do children lie? It’s something that begins at home. Here’s how to teach them honesty.
Five-year-old Surbhi was a great storyteller. Her parents, Nitya and Devesh were proud of their daughter’s story-telling skill. They would often tell their friends and family about her talent, sometimes adding little bits and pieces here and there. A bit of harmless bragging won’t harm, will it; they thought, rather it carves out a much better picture of their daughter and her talent.
As children genetically are Surbhi picked up the hints left by her parents and mastered the art. It wasn’t long enough when apart from mastering the art of story-telling, Surbhi inadvertently picked up the habit of lying. For her, it was just another form of story-telling. At her age, she was ignorant of the consequences that her benign story might bring; a story that was just a figment of her innocuous brain.
Surbhi would imagine she was having pony princess parties, dress them up and would weave stories around them.
Surbhi would imagine she was having pony princess parties, dress them up and would weave stories around them. She was excellent in making up stories around simple things. During her primary schooling, she would often come home with little Lego figurines from her school. When Nitya asked her why she was bringing home school toys, then she would say that the teachers have asked her to take them home. She would cite tall tales on how good and well behaved she was at school and how impressed her class teacher was with her that she gave the little Legos to her and told her that she was being rewarded for her good behaviour. The unsuspecting Nitya would hardly read between the lines and would in turn be proud of her little princess. However, after some days Surbhi refused to go to school anymore because it seems the ever appreciating teachers had suddenly turned villains. According to her they would scold her for no reason and also would tell her that she was a badly behaved girl. Yet everyday Nitya would find the Lego figurines in Surbhi’s pockets only to be told that now her friends have started giving her the toys.
It was only on one of the PTM’s that Nitya discovered her daughter’s habit of lying. That day Nitya and Devesh sat down to have a long chat with their daughter.
Young children like Surbhi spinning stories around unsuspecting and simple things don’t come as a surprise for us. In fact manipulating the truth for personal gains is viewed as a ‘developmental milestone, much like learning to get dressed by yourself or to take turns.’ Some studies have shown that bright kids who are able to pick up the nugatory and trivial data from their everyday life and spin phenomenal stories around them pick up the skill from a very early age, as early as 2-3 years. For older kids of age 4 and 5, the game is on big time and slowly they start mastering the art. Fortunately, just because your young child is a frequent fabler, doesn’t mean that she’ll grow up to be a big, fat liar. However, as parents it is our job to identify the problem early and nip this bad habit before it becomes ingrained. Freaking out and screaming at your kid or punishing her won’t discourage her; in fact she may simply become a better liar to avoid getting caught the next time.
You walk into your house after a bad day at work and find an elaborate drawing, made in permanent marker, on your bedroom wall. Uh-oh! The culprit knows she has invited trouble big time. Can’t you just see her little brain toiling extra time to come up with a way to wriggle out of the situation? Even if you sense a con job coming, it’s not too late to help her come clean.
Indian young girl image via Shutterstock
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