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Teaching kids right from wrong has never been easy because many issues are not black and white. These parenting tips are helpful.
Teaching kids right from wrong has never been easy because many issues are not black and white. You will find these parenting tips helpful.
“Mumma, he hit me”, my three and a half-year-old said as soon as she came in after a long and exhausting day at school. “What did you do then? Did you push him back?,” I looked at her questioningly. “No, you said no, we should not hit anyone. It is BAD,” came a quick and curt answer. “Yes, that is true,” was all I could say at that moment as she had put me in yet another catch-22 situation.
However, it led me into thinking as to whether it is just white or black or can there be shades of grey when it comes to teaching our kids the ‘rights and the wrongs’? Children ask questions, a lot of questions – so much so that at times we are deep in the rigmarole of their ‘whys and hows’. We are mere mortals, who generally address their queries by just putting a flag of ‘yes, it is good’ and ‘no, it is bad’. In our bid to save ourselves from a long interrogation, we as parents do not touch upon the grey areas which in turn are left unaddressed.
They take us very seriously. And come to think of it, why wouldn’t they? For them, we are the epitome of morality.
Children are impressionable. They take us very seriously. And come to think of it, why wouldn’t they? For them, we are the epitome of morality. So, it is of utmost importance that we take them seriously as well and strive to have a discussion with them (yes, even with toddlers, they have a mind of their own), whenever they ask a pertinent question.
This brings us to the next pivotal question, that can we answer all our children’s queries in the best possible manner? Well, as I said, life is not white and black. You as a responsible and ethically sound parent would tell your child to “Never hit anyone” as it is “Bad”. But, if one fine day, you realize that your child has become the easiest prey for a bully on the pretext of his ‘good’ behaviour inculcated by none other than you, I am sure you will take a pause and brood over it. No parent would want to raise meek children.
From what I have learned in my few years as a parent I was able to come up with the following ground rules so as to instill morality and a sense of right and wrong in a balanced way.
Like adults, children too do not take well to an overdose of preaching. Neither strive to make him a Gandhi nor a Hitler. Try and strike a balance. Once she grows up, she would be able to think as to what ideals to follow but as a kid, it is best to take a middle path.
Leave some things at Nature’s disposal. As they say, Nature is the best teacher. Let your child learn some things on his own by experiences with other children and by the usual humdrum of his carefree life. Trust me, she will learn things which no book can teach her.
Every child is different in his own special way. Your child may be reticent while your neighbour’s on the other hand, may be unrestrained. We as parents like to bring out the best in our children so as to enable them to conquer the world, but we should remember to keep their intrinsic nature alive. Making her what she is not will end up botching her persona.
Mother and child image via Shutterstock
First published at mycity4kids
Meha has worked as a Business Analyst in an elite IT firm and as a full time professor in management colleges. Having earned an MBA degree in Human Resource Management and an MA degree in read more...
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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