7 Sacred Vows For Being Single And Happy

Posted: September 9, 2014

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Waiting for a fairy-tale romance to complete you? Wait no more! Fall in love with yourself, and feel complete. Here are 7 tips for being single and happy.

I turned a year older last week. And as is customary, I often end up doing lot of soul-searching on birthday eves or nights. I consider myself a late bloomer. Everything, every single thing, in my life took its own sweet time and turned up fashionably late.

My career, and what to make of my existence – the whole deal – did and undid itself till well past my 20s. Even today, I am not sure where it’s all going to lead me to. My love life can be safely called ‘put to rest’ for the lack of a better phrase. The way I was as a person, both inside and out, a decade ago, is definitely not the one writing this post.

I am serious. The spunk, the attitude, the fun that I am now – I am falling in love with myself every day.  I am finding a little new of me every day. These challenges, this independence, this sense of responsibility and yet, letting go of all that to do whatever makes me happy, I am sure I didn’t have it then. This good wisdom kicked in much later. Just some years ago.

When I see almost all my friends posting pictures of their kids (because they have been married since forever!), at times I feel may be I have missed this bus, too. Although I feel I will make babies even if I don’t find the right person to get married to. Some time there, too.

However, this year it finally hit me. Being single, in my 30s, with a very fickle career choice, no special someone or even decent boyfriend material to go on a date with, no fat (read none at all) bank balance and a recently discovered dream to travel, how did I land up with all this nothingness? Choices I made all along weren’t wrong. They just never conformed to the parameters set by everyone.  So, there.

…how did I land up with all this nothingness?

Now when I, in all earnestness, weighed this scenario, there were no rosy hopes. I got a little choked too when I reflected on the last decade. I think I uttered, ‘did I screw up badly?’. But I asked myself, so what if there are many boxes unchecked in the ‘as per society’ checklist, how and why should it stop me from checking the boxes off my bucket list? Why would I need someone to take care of me? Why can’t I love myself? Why can’t I see those things off the list myself? So what if I am single? So what if I have not gone around the holy fire, wearing an elaborate lehenga, invoked the Gods and made vows with a man? Can I not make those seven vows to myself? The agenda is to be happy right?

So, over a cup of steaming filter kaapi and matar poha, I sat down to write the vows that I will follow as much as I can and for as long as I can. Not that I read those aloud to myself, but it helped to have some self-made rules to live by, I never had any otherwise.

Here goes the list of the seven sacred vows for solitary bliss:

  1. I shall never (or at least try not to) cry my way in or out of any situation. I have done that enough and I know better now
  2. I shall not take sh*t from anyone.  Be it family, friends, colleagues, Gupta aunty, stranger in the metro or that handsome date. For once, I would want to be straight-forward, no-nonsense.
  3. I shall not deny myself any fun. Be it hogging on food, watching porn, ogling at men, learning professional dancing, trying out theatre, going on a blind date, sleeping with someone, or anything that my heart may deem fit. As long as it is not causing me a stroke, I shall give it to my heart. It has earned it totally!
  4. I shall see the world with my red travel bag. Enough said.
  5. I shall not let anyone take precedence over my happiness. Selfish? maybe, but practical it is. And drawn from the life experience. No more waiting for people to call or message or ask out.
  6. I shall understand the difference between glaringly simple decisions of life like the difference between spending time with another bad guy and taking mom & dad out for a nice lunch or between Whatsapping my sister when she is in the mood to chat and whiling my time crying over my ex listening to songs curated for my mood.
  7. I shall not change this bright, sunshine side of me. Trust me, this world can do so much with a little sunshine!

So, what are we waiting for? Vows done! Let’s get cracking on this new-found relationship!

Pic credit: SarahSeverson (Used under a CC license)

A dreamer. A coffee lover. Singer, in bathroom and everywhere. A newbie traveler.

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  1. This is sooo you Naina. Well said.

  2. The world does not end if you are not married. There is so much else to do, to learn, to explore. I wish you and your red bag a lot fo adventures Naina !

  3. Love the vows…keep up this spirit ! Hugs 🙂

  4. Absolutely loved your seven vows.I need to take a couple of those too.Keep that red bag packed and ready girl!

  5. Waiting for a song now, a rocking one about you and your red bag. May the universe give you both wings to travel on

  6. Marriage and kids are societies way of confining you. You might have missed the bus according to people who form the so-called society. But trust me, this freedom that you are enjoying, this freedom of making rules for yourself, this freedom of making the seven vows with yourself, this is what you have earned. I wish you lots and lots of sunshine Naina. Live your life Queen Size! 🙂

  7. This is the Naina we love. 🙂 Rock on girl!

  8. Way to go, Naina!!
    You are the queen of your life, live it to the fullest and you deserve it!! Cheers!! ♥

  9. This post makes a person fall in love with himself/ herself <3 Loved it !

  10. Super article naina..it definitely comes across as heartfelt. Its almost like that dialogue from 3 idiots “ye attitude badi mushkil se aaya h sir…”! Go on and rule the world 🙂

  11. Loved the article. Almost made me want to be single again, Almost! I think marriage is too over-rated, at least in India. And excellent vows, especially #3 🙂

  12. This made me want to go hunting for a red bag myself … 🙂

  13. Naina….I so am going through these thoughts!….time to travel n fall in love withmyself too! AMEN…Much love

  14. Hi Naina, loved your write up. I felt like I was watching Bridget Jones. :). Pampering oneself and feeling comfortable in ones’s own shoes is the best way to overcome any heart punching situations. If the world around is busy, too very selfie about themselves…..just love yourself. Window shopping, solitude times with music, traveling alone, watching nature are some of the best ways of busting emotional stress. You are worthy enough to be pampered and taken care of…..so pamper yourself. Go ahead and be a Queen!!!

  15. “Doosron ki jai se pehle, khudh ko jai karein”…I’ve been trying to encourage myself with this very line for the whole day now. Each day is a new line that slowly fades along with it. I keep drifting back to the hurt of being ‘left alone’, of having lost what I believed was ‘forever’- a friendship. And then this came flying from somewhere and dropped in front of my eyes. I am glad I got to meet (even if one-sidedly) you Naina, you brave brave girl. And may I say this day couldn’t have ended better. 🙂

  16. Pingback: “Doosron ki jai se pehle, khudh ko jai karein”...

  17. Awesome Naina 🙂 Keep rocking the world 😀

  18. What a bang on piece of writing…..It resonates my life at the moment…I can so identify with what you have written. Especially not taking shit from anyone and not waiting for someone to call…good job Naina…absolutely rocking..

  19. Hey, love what you have expressed. Love your spirit too.

    90% of what you said holds good for un-single/ married women too. Actually make that 99%.
    There are just too preoccupied with keeping everyone around them happy that they don’t realize that they are important as well.

    Hoping to hear about your travels. Should be fun.

  20. One of the best articles i have ever read on wonensweb !!! marvelous post and awesome “wow” vows !!!

  21. Loving the vows…!!
    keep writing gal !

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