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The world of relationships can be confusing. Here are some open secrets about relationships – things you know, but may have forgotten!
Many of us women have dealt with situations where we have ended up being emotional fools. Maybe we forget to live for ourselves, forget our own worth, and forget what we already know? These are those things which, if she re-inculcates in herself, she may not have to suffer much:
Keep yourself engaged, in things other than your partner.
It will not only give you a sense of independence but also keep you away from getting mad about what your partner is doing when he isn’t around.
In short, create your own personal space, time, and life. He is indeed a major part of your life; keep him as a part of your life, instead of making him your life. That personal space will be yours, nobody else’s. Do things what you love to do, and that will be your ‘me-time‘.
I am not asking you to stop loving your loved ones unconditionally. But love them only when your own conditions have been met.
See, when a wife gets physically abused, she still hangs on to that relation maybe because her love is unconditional even if the husband’s is nil. But she needs to understand that she will be able to love him all over again only if she is alive! I am not asking to hit him back, but at least try to save yourself. Gather a little courage and speak out, ask for help in some or the other way, instead of just tolerating it quietly.
Be a little strong, and learn to let go.
Okay, now this is at the root of all and may be the toughest too, for many of us. But if you excel it, you will be the happiest one.
Every living thing needs to breathe. You need to breathe, he needs to breathe, the plant in your garden, the animal sitting on the street. Every single living thing on this earth needs to breathe. If you try to trap it inside a closet it will die due to the lack of oxygen.
This applies to any situation, whether you are married, in a relationship, or on the verge of a break-up; it’s always alright to give each other that much-needed space.
Learn to pull yourself out at the right time from the quicksand you are slowly drifting into.
There is a quote which I have been coming across often, whenever the topic of love/relationships comes up: “If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it’s yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be.” – Unknown
According to me, this quote is absolute sh*t!
Why? Because why are you making your decisions, and your life, dependent on what the other person’s decision would be? If the person has decided to go away in the first place, whatever be the reason, he went! That was his decision, now it’s for you to decide whether you are ready to accept him in your life any more or not. He comes back or he doesn’t, that’s the later part.
Make him understand that you don’t need him, you choose to be with him.
Unfortunately, most of the times we fail in the decision-making process and land ourselves in that never-ending emotional roller coaster.
Stop being jealous of other women.
Yes, it’s a hard fact, but most of us do get jealous of each other.
We all need to learn that strength is in unity, and nothing else. Stop competing with each other. Each one of us is beautiful in our own way. Just remain confident about who you are. Remain your real self. And the rest will follow .
And please, stop fighting over men (yes, many of us do it).
I laugh at myself today, while I write this article, because I have no idea when and how I actually figured out these very basic yet vital things out.
Just as too much of sugar leads to diabetes, and too much watering of a plant kills it, the same is with real life human issues. It is very important to remain balanced in everything; to know how much you are giving and how much you are getting back in return.
This post was first published here.
Pic credit: bookgrl (Used under CC license)
Pursuing Diploma in Community Mental Health, NIMHANS
Former Forensic Psychologist Intern.
Former content writer.
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