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My house-help asked excitedly, “I am going for wedding. Can you let me wear your red & black saree? To be honest I was stumped for a moment; I didn’t know what to say but I still said yes.
I lent a gorgeous saree to my house-help for a wedding in her family. Soon I stated getting questions if I would wear that saree again or if I was okay to be seen wearing the same saree my house-help was wearing?
We are all so conditioned to give our used clothes to our house-helps but are we okay to wear the clothes they were wearing?
A few days ago she came excitedly to me, “I am going for a family wedding. I want to wear your red & black saree, Ill wash and give it to you after the function. Please can you let me wear it?”
Sivaranjiniyum Innum Sila Pengalum (SISP) is an ode to all of the lost women, who could have been sports stars, singers, bankers, lawyers, doctors, just... happy, if they hadn't been enslaved in matrimony, and then forgotten all about.
One of the cool things about my mother was that she was an ace athlete and a champion sculler as a young woman in the 1950s and 60s. I only found out about this side of her a few years ago. I imagine her in a paavaadai dhaavani, taking on the mighty Kaveri river so many decades ago.
I recently watched a Tamil film anthology on SonyLiv that she would have liked to watch – Sivaranjiniyum Innum Sila Pengalum, (SISP) that has 3 stories of 3 different women – Saraswathi, Devaki, and Shivaranjini.
Like all the heroines in the anthology, my mother’s talents were sacrificed at the altar of matrimony. She pawned her gold medals and silver cups one by one to pay for expensive textbooks for us or a gift for a niece on her wedding, money for which she didn’t dare ask my father, because it was her niece… I remember how she caressed the cups and how her face hardened as she shoved them into her bag to take to the jewellers.
Teaching children about gender bias begins at home. It is the small things we do and say as parents, that gives rise to the culture of 'boys will be boys'!
Teaching children about gender bias begins at home. It is the small things we do and say as parents, that gives rise to the culture of ‘boys will be boys’!
My daughter is four years old. She is growing up in fairly privileged circumstances. Nobody forced me to do a scan to find out what her sex was when I was pregnant. When she was born, the family rejoiced unequivocally.
She has an unapologetic feminist for a mother and a father who doesn’t express his politics to the wide world as much as her mother but is a firm believer and practitioner of gender justice. She is growing up among educated, mostly upper class people. It’s easy to assume that she wouldn’t have experienced much gender discrimination, given the circumstances.
Here are 7 life lessons I learned from my kids. What has your child taught you?
It seems as though I am constantly telling my kids not to do this, not to climb on that, not to hit each other, not to, not to, fill in the blank.
But every now and then, I stand in amazement when I see them do something pretty badass (and inspirational as well)—things that I’ve considered doing that would change my life for the better.