Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
When affairs are virtual - are they still 'real'? A look at virtual infidelity and what it means for relationships
Guest Blogger The Girl Next Door as the name implies, is just another ordinary girl with ordinary dreams and ordinary desires – but she likes to imagine that she leads an extraordinary life, in her own way!
R is a neighbour and a family friend. He is married and is a father as well. His family stays in India while he works abroad. He is hard-working and sends money home regularly – even funding his wife’s higher education. I’ve often heard him praising his wife and speaking fondly of his child. It appears that he loves and cares for them. I don’t believe that he consorts with other women in his wife’s absence and I’ve never seen him bring strange women home. However there is a particular aspect of him that I fail to understand.
R engages in intimate chats online with unknown women. He meets women online, chats for a few days and then proceeds to video chats – which involves sexual activity. Keep in mind that the women involved are fully aware of his intentions and in all probability they are also looking for the same thing – it is not as if he misleads them. Why does he indulge in this? He says that it gives him a thrill to ‘seduce’ these women.
R takes great care to not let his wife find out about this. But what if she did someday? Can one justify it saying that afterall R is away from his wife and he has his ‘needs’? In the spirit of ‘adjusting’ should the wife just thank her stars and feel glad that her husband didn’t have a ‘real’ affair?
With advancements in technology, rise of social networks and busy lives, it has become remarkably easy to create and maintain an alternative life online. Would you be okay if your spouse ‘friends’ unknown men/women online? Is it okay as long as they are ‘just chatting’? When ‘real’ affairs can get explained away with, “It was just sex – it didn’t mean anything!”, can we also say, “It was just chatting! I didn’t really do anything!”?
Virtual or real, to me this seems like infidelity. In fact if anything, it actually seems like a coward’s way to have an affair! While adultery is grounds for divorce, do such virtual affairs fall into the adultery category? I don’t know the answer to that. But what I do know is that if I found out that my spouse was having virtual affairs, I am pretty sure that I would experience the same emotions that a real affair would cause – and my marriage would never be the same again.
*Photo credit: rajsun22
Guest Bloggers are those who want to share their ideas/experiences, but do not have a profile here. Write to us at [email protected] if you have a special situation (for e.g. want read more...
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
Please enter your email address