If you are passionate about teaching, then Hackberry offers you franchise opportunities to turn this passion into your profession!
An adoptive mother says on how they convinced the extended family and built a loving family family through adoption
Guest Blogger Vandana Kumar in her own words: I am an adoptive parent, a mother of two wonderful, beautiful children and wish to share our story and hope it may inspire some couples to build a family through adoption and give a loving family to some more children. I work with the Government of India for a living and enjoy reading and gardening in my free time.
It was a misty morning when my husband of three days had gently said, “I would like to adopt a child. I often wonder what happens to children who lose their parents – does every child not need a secure childhood and loving environment of a family.” This had come as a surprise as never in the three months that we had been engaged, had he mentioned anything of this kind. Recovering from my initial shock, I had said I need time to think about it.
Over the months that rolled by, we had discussed this at length. This would determine the course of our wedded life. Much was discussed – would we be up to it, would we have any regrets later in life, would we be able to do justice to the children and how will our families take it. We were the only daughter and son of our respective parents who had started looking forward to being grandparents the moment we were married.
The more we spoke about this, the more convinced we became that this was the right thing to do. Why bring more children into this world when there are already millions who deserve love, care and security of a family? We felt we had met and married to do this, build our family this way. The road to execution from ideation however was a few years long as events overtook us but one thing remained constant, to build our family through adoption.
A mother prepares herself for nine months to bring her baby into the world. Here I was one who prepared herself for five years. My baby grew in my heart. In this interregnum, we told our families about our decision. I had gone weak in my knees when I saw the pallor of my mother-in-law’s face as my husband spoke to her slowly, gently, delving on each word carefully with courage in his eyes and conviction in his heart. Over the months that followed the whole family got together to prevail upon us to reverse our decision. Why are you doing this? Is there a medical problem? How would the family tree expand? The way we had seen it we were enlarging our fold of love and it would have in no way reduced our commitment to our family. Everyone had lived a happy and fulfilled life; it was now a child’s chance. It was not about them or us. It was about our baby and her right to seek our love whether or not she came from my tummy!
While we were trying to convince our families, we were also talking to some of our friends. Some endorsed and lauded our decision, while several others admitted that either of them too had held a wish to adopt a child but could not, as the partner did not feel the same way. We also met adoptive families who were leading very happy and fulfilled lives with children being brought up with abundant love. These interactions only strengthened our resolve.
With our commitment unwavering, after about two years the family relented albeit with a heavy heart. We meanwhile had been preparing for the arrival of our baby, buying musical soft toys, dresses, fluffy blankets from our journeys abroad. We had also gone ahead registering with the adoption agency to get our bundle of joy home. We had made up our mind; the baby shown to us will be our baby. We would not go to choose a baby.
Finally the day arrived when we welcomed our baby with relief and joy, satisfied in our heart to have made a beginning of the journey we had longed to undertake. The nuns in the organization that cared for our child until we got her said a prayer in their little chapel and gave our three month old a tearful send off showering her with blessings. Here were people who showered the little angels with boundless selfless love, only to give them away to parents who would cherish them. It is simple; some people make up for others!
A nun on parting had given me the feed schedule of my baby. That night I had put an alarm to remind me, lest I remain sleeping while my little one is hungry. How silly I had felt as exactly two hours after her last feed she gave a mild cry and there I was ready with her feed. That day on, my baby became my teacher. She taught me what she needed and I learnt like a good student and she rewarded me handsomely with her smiles, cackles and squeals….and yes, she had started winning over everyone in the family with all her innocent charm .
It has been ten years since we commenced our beautifully rewarding journey and expanded our family with the adoption of our daughter. Our home resonates with giggles and laughter. We are thankful to Him for having chosen us to experience love and humanity in this wonderful way.
Pic credit: Kodamakitty (Used under a Creative Commons License)
Guest Bloggers are those who want to share their ideas/experiences, but do not have a profile here. Write to us at [email protected] if you have a special situation (for e.g. want read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, indivisual posts do not necessarily represent the platofrom's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
We are conditioned to normalise domestic violence out of fear of abandonment. Thinking that 'trauma bonding' is better than no bonding holds us back from speaking up!
(Trigger Warning: This post may be triggering for survivors of domestic violence. This post has been published especially to honour the International Day For The Elimination of Violence Against Women.)
Everyone said my perfect husband was like Lord Ram…. but this is how he took unfair advantage of my tolerance!
My grandmother was very fond of my husband whose name is synonymous with Lord Ram’s name. Every call she made to my husband started with the bhajan “Aaj sab mil mangal gao, Awadh mai, raam aye hain“. (Hail everyone, sing praises, Lord Ram has come in the kingdom of Awadh.) It was a mandatory welcome song whenever she met him or even spoke to him on the phone. Yes, his attributes were like that of Lord Ram. His attitude, chivalry, persona, fair skin, smile, height, physique and charm illustrate the perfect image of Lord Ram.
He was a generous man but she hardly knew much about the investments or their financial health. A couple of times, she had asked him and he had been vague. Now when she thought about it...
He was a generous man but she hardly knew much about the investments or their financial health. A couple of times, she had asked him and he had been vague. Now when she thought about it…
The Muse of the Month is a monthly writing contest organised by Women’s Web, bringing you original fiction inspired by women.
Chandrika R. Krishnan is one of the winners for the November 2021 Muse of the Month, and wins a Rs 750 Amazon voucher from Women’s Web. The juror for this month, Anuradha Kumar commented, “This introspective, quiet, story with its depiction of the relationship between two relatively older people is quite impressive. A lifetime spent together can bring familiarity and still allow for many mysteries and secrets. Also, the structure of the story, shifting from an external perspective to an internal monologue is well-done.”
Sherin Mathews’ adoptive father or adoptive mother might not have killed her. Her father or mother might have. Let's focus on the parenting, not on the adoption.
Sherin Mathews’ adoptive father or adoptive mother might not have killed her. Her father or mother might have. Let’s focus on the parenting, not on the adoption.
The recent tragic death of little Sherin Mathews is all over the news, with judgments furiously flying in the trial by social media declaring both parents guilty. I will not comment on their guilt, but I wish people would separate adoption from abuse.
Reading statements like “They may have wanted to get rid of her since she was adopted, and took advantage of the situation”, and “why did they adopt if they already had a child, this is a mystery” brings up some thoughts.
Meet Kavita Baluni, who adopted fifteen month old Veda with Down Syndrome. Kavita reinstates our faith in humanity and brings home the fact that you do not have to give birth to become a mother.
Meet Kavita Baluni, who adopted fifteen month old Veda who has Down Syndrome. Kavita reinstates our faith in humanity and brings home the fact that you do not have to give birth to become a mother.
‘A family isn’t made from blood, it is made from love’.
This phrase indeed seems true when you come across Kavita Baluni, who became an adoptive parent to a little girl with Down Syndrome. Motherhood is a special feeling and there is nothing like holding your new born for the first time. But, there are some mothers like Kavita who believe that there are so many children out there who yearn to be embraced by a loving family. To be a mother, you need not necessarily give birth to a child.